tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-892384571002999746.post5103935768166016471..comments2023-09-26T06:59:30.086-04:00Comments on Doreen Lewis Blog: Do Not Be Influenced By Those Who Can't Remain Faithfuldoreenmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03992854199750315019noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-892384571002999746.post-86352699452261317512009-12-03T21:22:26.521-05:002009-12-03T21:22:26.521-05:00You're already an awesome mom, Jillybeans!You're already an awesome mom, Jillybeans!doreenmaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992854199750315019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-892384571002999746.post-5912937431339926872009-12-03T20:55:18.121-05:002009-12-03T20:55:18.121-05:00Doreen, i agree about the honesty thing, but peopl...Doreen, i agree about the honesty thing, but people have to be willing to trust too. some people aren't willing to say "i find so-and-so attractive" because then the other person may doubt them. it's one thing to find a famous person attractive, but what are the real chances of your celebrity crush showing up? sure it happens, but not often. You'd have more of a chance of winning the power ball. The real issue here is known individuals. If a man admits that he's attracted to the neighborlady, then the wife can feel a threat close to home and act accordingly or work talk to her spouse about the attraction to the neighbor and move on to a point where nothing would come of it. I know few women that are mature enough or able to deal with their spouse admitting a real-life crush, especially on someone in their day-today lives, without it becoming an issue. The article was right in that people like to pretend that when you're in a relationship with one person, our brains shut off all attraction to other people. It doesn't work like that at all though. I love my spouse and I can imagine myself cheating on him empotionally or physically, but a few weeks ago I drove passed the marine marathon and there was a lot of eye candy. I did go home and tell my guy what I saw and that I looked, but I don't get mad when he looks at other women. hell if looking were a crime then hollywood would be shut down.<br /><br />i liked her summary about honesty and education about sexual relationships not just plumbing issues. too many people act as if talking to their kids is a sin or a great feat like climbing mt. everest. i hope that i'm open with my daughter when she's older.Jillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09204820495174268693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-892384571002999746.post-55650421976590198222009-12-03T19:04:02.396-05:002009-12-03T19:04:02.396-05:00Jilly, loved your thoughts on this... agreed that ...Jilly, loved your thoughts on this... agreed that forgiveness is difficult. What I liked about the article is it takes a preventive approach... if you're always HONEST, then there the relationship is fair and respectable and good. <br /><br />It's sad to hear about your parents situation.<br /><br />And on Tiger Woods and his wife... sad. They should seek counseling. As you mentioned about fame/beauty... it always seems to me that the lover often isn't better looking or more exceptional than the spouse, interestingly enough... Sadly, the spouse who has been cheated on tends to look at herself/himself as if they lacked something to keep the spouse interested, which is rarely the case. The psychological effect of all parties is significant and life altering. It takes therapy or really good friends and courage to weather the storm, especially if the marriage ends and the couple has to adjust to singlehood. <br /><br />Infidelity is epidemic. Education is needed for people to understand human dynamics. People need compassion and help and strength.doreenmaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992854199750315019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-892384571002999746.post-15547211902685905552009-12-03T10:32:23.739-05:002009-12-03T10:32:23.739-05:00that is an interesting article and i agree with th...that is an interesting article and i agree with the woman, but i don't think i'd be as forgiving as she was. people don't accidentially cheat, they usually set out on a course that leads to cheating, and they could have jumped off that runaway train lon before the sex happens. <br /><br />i don't think i could forgive the sexual cheating, or all the other things that led up to it. when i was little, i didn't understand why my mom was angry and bitter that my real dad did things like sent flowers to his mistress. my mom was mad at the sex, don't get me wrong, but i think him doing romantic things like sending flowers, just plain hurt her like lemon juice in a wound. people cheat in many ways, it's not just the sex. <br /><br />it's like going to lunch with your best friend, and s/he spend the entire meal texting/talking on the phone with a friend or telling you crap about his/her other set of friends you don't care about. This person is no longer your friend, because they don't value you or want to emotionally vest anything in you. <br /><br />romantic relationships are the same way. When you put more emotional energy into someone who is not your spouse, then you've already cheated on your spouse, the sex is just icing on the cake. sure that wouldn't hold up in court, but that's where all those nifty warning signs come from that everyone sees but no one points out until after the fact.<br /><br />i feel bad for tiger woods' wife and children, and i don't blame her for her temper tantrum. but in the end, model/famous/rich or not, she's still human with human problems and will probably go through all the emotional issues that all people in these situations go through. People are so shocked when the "pretty/famous/rich" people have real human problems, as if being on the cover of vogue means that a man won't do you wrong. we're such silly creatures sometimes.Jillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09204820495174268693noreply@blogger.com