Aren't you loving this "spring forward" thing? Sunlight lingering later really gives a sense of a longer day. It is warm here... 82 degrees. Beachy. And I am already wanting to see how and when I can sneak off alone one day to recline in a sand chair on the beach with ice water and a paperback. Soon.

I went to 7-11 one night this week for a pack of cigs. In Florida, a new tax raised a pack 90 cents or $9 per carton. The cashier said next month another tax increase goes into effect of 80 cents more. So, a generic pack ran me over $5 and I started thinking of this madness... the cost factor, not only in terms of it being insanely expensive a habit, but the cost to health, especially after all these years. Quitting smoking has been accomplished half a dozen times in my life... easy when I was pregnant both times... but stopping permanently hasn't happened. I am THINKING about quitting and this is a mental process which must precede the physical act. That, I do know... the head must be convinced before the body follows the instructions. Let's let that thought roll around a while...

I have one more week of the semester I'm teaching and then a couple weeks break... much needed. Then, next semester I am teaching virtually every day or night and have 3 different subjects I'll be teaching, so it's going to be tough wrapping that around my other job and still moving forward with dissertation research (which I am now grossly behind on). It saddens me that one job has never been enough to meet the basics of living, no matter how many damn degrees I have or how I've tried to position my talents in the marketplace. I'm so so soooooo very tired working so hard and I don't even know how I arrived here... Thursday night now... where did this week go? It's all a blur of papers and spreadsheets and emails from the week.

As soon as I sign off from here, I'm tucking myself in bed with a magazine of no academic redeeming quality, just girl stuff... fashion, make up ads, etc. I need it. Total escape.

There are some changes ahead in coming months... in talking with my landlord he said he is wanting to sell in a "short sale" and my lease is up July 31st. I loathe the idea of packing and moving AGAIN... shit, we just moved here 7 months ago. This is the first time I've been a renter since I was a teen...but after the divorce and now with the kids just about 2 years from leaving the nest, renting is the only situation that makes sense... and of course, that divorce totally destroyed my lifelong perfect credit history... it's crap and I couldn't buy if I wanted to. I am now talking with a guy about repairing credit/consolidating any debts, negotiating lower rates, whatever I have to do. But not tonight... no worries.

I have been enjoying herbal tea this evening and want to ease into some rest. I can feel that edge of insanity that if one more project lands in my lap I shall lose my cool. Rest. Peace. Sleep.

You, too. For if I am this tired and weak right now, I bet you are working hard, too. So let's all seek a little peace even if it's no farther than just a corner in our home or out on the porch looking at the beautiful big round moon.

Tomorrow I will catch up on personal correspondences... you know who you are! My sincere apologies for my half-assedness in friendship these days. I.O.U.