It's amazing how many close friends of mine are all going through the same sort of couples issues. In each case... One partner wants something more and the other partner not so much. And the tug can last years... fraught with manipulations, ploys, gentle or not so gentle nudges to get what is desired such as "their" way about how to live or parent, for things like attention, sex or love, meaningful emotional connection, a disarmament of things coming between the two (addiction, other influences), control -- these are just examples. Each heart has its own desires and wishes, and I would venture to say that the underlying feelings are pure and not necessarily evil, albeit there is a great deal of selfishness abound, generally speaking. Sometimes people just don't want the same things, regardless of the love they feel.

Within a pair, it is so sad when you are the one feeling empty and unfulfilled, but it is also sad for the one who cannot give because it's not in them and they wish it were so, but it's not there. You can pretend and give in. Or, you can fight the fight and not bend, still hopeful for change by the partner. You can cut the cord and be done. But most people just stay in misery or dysfunction.... they die that slow death of a relationship.... until numbness takes over and nobody cares.

My heart breaks today for those suffering this plight.