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The Single Girls' Guide to Barbecue Grilling (ADVICE NEEDED)

Things like mowing a lawn, using a drill or hammer (I use the heel of my pump to put nails in walls), and even barbecuing, have always been guy tasks in my world.

As I enter singlehood within a week... I have lots of ideas for reinventing my world, including how I want to feed my children and myself.

It has probably been 5 years since I've had grilled steak, burgers or chicken. I feel very deprived. I have never done it and I don't want to start a forest fire.

Please advise EVERYTHING I need to know about grilling out.

Charcoal or Gas Grill? I'll buy what I need to get (need to keep it cheap).

What do I do? How do I do it? How do I stop a fire if one starts?

Is this a dangerous undertaking? Will I get hurt?

Please advise, Oh Faithful Readers!


Spidey said...

getting burned hurts so here is my advice. get a gas grill. it is quicker and easier and faster. however, go where they will assemble it for you cause putting it together is a bitch. when you hook up the propane tank make sure it has no leaks. there will be instructions with the grill that will tell you how to do it. make sure you read that. although i am married, i have made it my lifes goal not to depend on a man for stuff like this, so i know what i am talking about. :) i also clean gutters, cut grass, and take out the garbage.
never grill anything on high. never put your face over the grill while igniting. watch out for flair ups. get yourself a grilling cook book. if a flair up occurs, turn off the gas and keep the grill covered. call for take out. good luck

doreenmary said...

Spidey, just as I suspected... SCARY! Propane?! Check for gas leaks?! nnnnnnnn. I'll have to think about this... Thanks

Spidey said...

don't be scared. just do it.

sheila222 said...

Wait until Labor Day sales to get your grill, you may be able to get one for half price. f you can't wait that long, watch for sales at places like Sears. Here, Lowes has a great selection but they never cut the price sufficiently. Get as sturdy of one as you can afford but at least for my money, forget all the side gadgets and burners. Read the instructions. After you do that, take comfort in the fact that you are ahead of most men at this point. Grilled portobellos.

Anonymous said...

regardless what type you opt for you can't go wrong with Weber -

Roger D. Curry said...

Gas grill? Propane? What the hell are you'uns talking about?

Cooking outside is real ticklish. You have to remember that you're using FIRE, and that's dangerous. You got your light and you got your smoke, and out in the woods, you can never tell who's there to look and smell and listen. It doesn't matter if you lie up in your good cane thicket if you bring your enemies right to you with the wrong kind of smoke. Doreen, keeping your hair is real serious stuff 'round here.

So, the first thing to do is conceal your camp, always. Not the top of ridges, not open banks of rivers, not glacial rock fields, you find a hollow will a little ventilation. Also, you have to know about wind, humidity, temperature and terrain, because smoke acts like both a gas and a fluid, and you can predict where the heavy particulates are going (see below, you should damn well make sure there's few of those) and where the lighter organic volitiles are going. Well, you make yourself a little fire. Use a fire bow, that's best, so long as you keep the tinder in your parfleche absolutely dry. I've heard about these new fangled lucifers that use brimstone or such like, but that chemical smell sticks out like a nihilist at a river baptism. Start your fire under a LIVE tree without low branches to disperse the smoke and use VERY dry and VERY hard wood to limit the amount of the smoke. Careful about the tree - Setting a tree on fire is a bad choice - it tells the Shawnee, "Here I am, I'm too stupid to keep my scalp, come on over and kill me."

Now, the cooking itself is as much spirit and attitude as recipe. Channel your ancestors, darling - become a part of the night, squat at the fire, careful not to stare at the fire itself (that chemically disrupts rhodopsin, reducing night vision), and BE PATIENT. Little fire, low heat, long cooking time, that's the ticket. In the outdoors, the hurry is all somewhere else, the fire, the food, this is a sacred act. (And the last two sentences, darling, are totally on the level.)

From the Wind Hills,

Anonymous said...

All I can say is independence is a wonderful thing and not many people can truly appreciate everything a strong single woman can do. I work, have my own house, get my nails done and know how to use a hammer. a drill, and a sander. Though I don't clean, my housekeeper just left. You'll do yourself proud. -blu