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I Need a Gay Friend or A Refined Man on Loan

Heeeere we go. Enter the Christmas Season. My first one "single" since I'm 16 years old and I'm clueless how to proceed. I just got my first party invitation for "you and a guest"... some swanky downtown place by a vendor of the company I work for.... with classy food and live music and dancing. I am 2 months out of divorce, quite surly, and "anti-man" with absolutely no interest in the idea of a red dress, up-do and high heels and a bejeweled neck.

Here's the thing, I am a Marketing Director (when I'm not teaching or a PhD student). That means Public Relations duties, like being friendly and shit like that.

So now what?


Mat said...

D -

Go by yourself, be yourself and forget about the 'guest' portion of the invite. If you still feel an escort is necessary make it a gay guy. He can assuredly have fun while you're off doing PR shit. "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." G. Steinhem
[but you knew that]

Jilly said...

my friends are all single without children and when they have to go somewhere like that, they take me. i'm a great date. i'm potty trained for social situations, don't mind holding a purse or watching one, am ready for all major trips to the women's room (women do go in there a lot), and they can say "well, she's got a baby and needs a night out, i'm a gread friend, aren't i?" and damn if it isn't true.


Anonymous said...

Oh please, I have been to 3 weddings and 4th one this weekend - by myself. Who cares. The only thing that bothers me is that it seems to bother other people to see me alone and not with a boyfriend. As if I am to be pitied while I couldn't give a rat's ass. - Blu.

Anonymous said...

I so think it's disrespectful to bring a girlfriend to a wedding. You were invited with a guest aka a significant other, not a friend. You're taking up space, half those brides don't want you bring anyone - they hope 30% of their guest list doesn't show and they are betting on single people coming single, you screw up their whole seating chart they started even before they send the invites. -blu

Jilly said...

blu, if they really don't want people to come to the wedding, then they shouldn't invite them. social niceties are only nice, if they're real, and if you insist on following them to fake it, then you deserve to pay for it. if it says "you and a guest" and they don't want the guest, they should just invite you, as they assume you're a lose who isn't involved. what's the different with bringing a friend who is the same sex and in scrounging up someone alive of the opposite sex to be your stand-in date? there isn't any at all really, but people seem to expect you to show up with a date so they have something to talk to you about.

if you take a friend, at least you have someone to talk to, and to dissect the event with after the fact. however, in the end, if i was invited to a wedding and not allowed to bring a guest or was given shit about it, i'd take my gift back. if you don't want me, you don't need my gift.

people forget that a wedding IS NOT for the couple, it's for the family and friends of the couple. the wedding is a gift the couple give their family by going through the pain that the wedding process is and then they should graciously accept any and all gifts given with a smile and a thank you note, even if many of the gifts are terrible.

people think they're owed something and that their wedding is an excuse to behave like disgusting excuses for humanity and to bitch afterwards for spending enough money to buy a home on the event.

if someone i knew ever behaved disgustingly in the name of "it's my wedding" they obviously don't need me as part of the process and i'll excuse myself from it.

in the end, you should invite the people you really really want, or stfu about paying for people and their guest of choice being there and if you're an asshole about the whole thing, don't be bitchy when people aren't overly generous or skip out on your event.



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