Blog Archive

General Updates in the Spinster's Life

OK...Christmas... So I arranged a platonic "date" to take me to the company Christmas party--two company parties on the same night (the college and the health care firm where I do marketing). And thank God this guy knows I'm a geek, because the day "of" the party I called him and told him I can't do it...not feeling it. He just laughed as I characterized the scene for him... The nauseating thought of holding a wine glass with the plastic smile and shoes that hurt.. him being kind and not knowing anyone...also plastic smile....the whole idea. "Hiiiiiiiii, how ya been?" someone would say "Oh, just grayyyyyyte, thanks and Merry Christmas...blah blah blah" Just couldn't muster up the anti-nausea feeling to go, much to the upset of my boss, who later gave me the raised eyebrow because I shoulda been there (he actually can raise one eyebrow...God I wish I had that talent!). Lord, just please, get me through New Year's.

Now that I am a spinster and we know that the holidays are all about "family" and "tradition"... I decided to NOT get depressed about my spinsterhood and instead, mix it all up and create new traditions. We (kids and I) opened gifts on Christmas Eve at 8 PM and were in bed by 11 and slept to noon on Christmas (because we could and a little slovenly indulgence is a fine thing). And I had my mom and sis's family over for dinner several days prior... and I cheated...I cooked spaghetti, but picked up pints of meat sauce and salad and breadsticks at Olive Garden, which made for a spectacular Italian Fest with no fuss or muss. No fancy dessert, either.... I got Nutty Buddy ice cream cones and everyone cheered my name.

I crocheted many of my gifts... an afghan for my boss and his wife, which they soon realized when the folded it that it wasn't a perfect square, but I think that makes it special-er. It was my best work EVER and I had watched 10 chickflicks while I crocheted to make the thing. I have also made a million crocheted hats and they are very cool, even though I can't seem to pawn the rest of them off on people, I just keep making them. Do YOU need a hat? I think I'm going to make and donate newborn caps for the hospitals. THEY need them!

I have been studying some areas of psychology of personal interest before I get fully into my dissertation work in a few weeks and have come to the conclusion (self-diagnosed and very accurate) that I have Adult Attachment Disorder (anxious) --look it up--and am insecure and also suffer from co-dependency, meaning that I am a control freak and need constant affirmation and go out of my way to FIX everyone's life when I sure as shit have no business in everyone else's business. I want to be loved and yet do not accept or believe it when it comes my way. This stems from childhood (not that I'm blaming anyone)....but during development somehow got messages crossed...yada yada yada psychobabble psychobabble. And I am working through some therapeutic processes (self-reflection, journaling, good friends and wine) to heal myself and find new behaviors to establish healthier patterns of living. I thought I was unscathed through this divorce and dammit....there is a road to travel yet. Until then, my spinsterness is necessary, so even though I am charming, I will have to push away all a yahs who want a piece of me. Heh. (Please....that's a joke).

Tomorrow my friend, Shwoopy, is coming over for cawfee tawk. She and I have been friends since second grade and although we are both 43 years old, we might break out in our old hand-slapping, "Miss Mary Mack..." who knows? We definitely revert to our immature ways and giggle stupidly (only now, at this age, I pee when I laugh too hard!. Good God, what will I be like at 60?) And Shwoopy is going through a bitter divorce, now in its 2nd year of fight and a million dollars in legal fees (seems like) with a custody battle that'll turn anyone's stomach. Now that I think about it... I think a little Irish whiskey in the cawfee is called for.

More exciting stuff in the life of this spinster.... I put a link on the side of my blog called 1001 Journals. Go there! It's a project of journals of different topics that writers and artists share, mailing it to people all over the world until it's completed. I got an email from a lady in Germany today...she's mailing me her journal. I will add to it and move it to the next person in line. The first journal project ended up in a museum (see. which showcases the original project (now a documentary). Anyway, geek I am... I find participating in this very exciting.

OK....gotta run. If COPS is a repeat on TV tonight, I shall watch CHEATERS and crochet another hat. That's what spinsters do on a Saturday night, you see.

It's alllllllllllll good.

Happy Holidays Mah Friends!


The Real News said...

Hilarious. Thanks.

If you want to cheer yourself up, check out and you'll re-define your marital choices as "smart."

Would love a hat. Love hats. My favorite color is blue. But as far as television programs go, check out the The Shield from your local library. The commentary is as good as the series.

aliasmoi said...

A spinster is a woman who has never been married - like me. You don't get to be a spinster. Sorry.

Jilly said...

two organizations i am involved with consist of making hats for a) soldiers over seas and b) recently diagnosed cancer patients.

soldiers need decent skull caps for under their helmets but they have to be army specs, a google search will get you the yarn and specs and donation places.

another simple search will get you info to donate caps for cancer patients in your area, and they'll take almost anything, so what you've already made will do.

there's also orgs to donate red scarves to orphans and pink scarves for breast cancer. i'm not a hat gal, i make scarves and baby blankets or imbelish gloves with ruffles. i don't have the patience to do an adult sized blanket, unless i used a massive hook, but i prefer a 10mm as my weapon of choice.

i probably made 30 scarves for christmas presents and several sets of matching ruffled gloves this year. i'll have to figure someting out for next year and start now, i was thinking of making shrugs or shawls for people.

i skipped my work related christmas celebration too, and i'm better off for it, i think.

my guy is on track 2 of his phd and by october ish will be starting his comp process, and i'm giddy for it, i can't wait for it to be over. we're at his track 2 conference thig right now in CA and everyone is so anxious to just get on with everything.


doreenmary said...

Jilly, thanks for the leads...

OK Aliasmoi... I do believe you're right. So what is the word for what I am???

Roger D. Curry said...

Darling, you are a babe in the woods innocently waiting for a predator (such as myself). "Platonic date"? Best routine I know to get laid. Right up there with "my intentions are honorable."

Oops, letting out some trade secrets.

With pinpoint pupils,

aliasmoi said...

You are a divorcee, dear, and everyone knows divorcees are hot to trot.


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