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Ramblings of a Woman in Midlife

So I'm still trying to squeeze hobbies into this life that is fastly aging me. I haven't picked up my guitar in a year and I swear, at least two or three times a week, I'll be in my car and play a song on the CD and hear chords I'd like to learn. One Republic's, STOP & STARE is my latest fave song. I play it on the car radio. I learn a line or two, play it back and sing it...go a line farther, start again, sing, replay, sing until I get the lyrics and beat right, until I've managed to learn all the words to sing the song without effort. I imagine playing my guitar and singing along. Do you remember doing that as a teenager? Or am I the only geek that does such a thing in my car at 43 years old?

Well, I have decided to go to one of my company Christmas parties and I invited a man to bring me who is a trusted friend who won't make moves on me ... so I think there's potential for actually enjoying a social event and not feeling like the divorcee all alone--not that I'm feeling badly about this status, I just don't want to see the furrowed brows of women holding their wine glass with their red nails--"friends" feigning concern and saying... "so...REALLY, ARE you doing? We do worry about you, Dear." Oh just SHUH UH. I'm fine. And I shall have a festive holiday drink or two, then go home. I have decided to dress conservatively classy. And why is it when there are events, I'm never happy unless I have something NEW to wear? It's as if I put something on I've worn before that I feel shlumpy. Anyway, despite budgetary issues in my life, I indulged in a new outfit, using existing accessories and shoes, so the price wasn't so bad.

Christmas shopping is coming along just swell. No,I mean that. It is amazing how creative giftsing can get when you have little money and don't want to embarrass yourself by giving something cheap. I always thought homemade gifts were the best anyway, and these are coming along good. (secrets, but maybe after Christmas I'll post pics of what I've made).

I have exactly $29 in my checking account until I get paid on Friday. I think my wallet contains $40 in cash, if I'm lucky, and I have a half a tank of gas. I'm totally living on cash and I still get so tight, especially this part of the month after paying rent and car payments out of the same paycheck. But...I want to tell you something...

If you have car payment, you can call your lender and ask them to allow you to SKIP December or January payment for Christmas and instead, extend your loan a month. Most banks/finance companies will allow you to do this once per year. So I did get through Christmas.

I did buy a box of Christmas cards and may send them out. Seems not too many people send cards these days.

OK, gotta work now. Just rambling....


Jilly said...

i send or hand out about 111 christmas cards a year. i did this on monday. this year, i cut my list a little be refuing to send a card to someone who didn't talk to me all year or who didn't give me a new address after a move. i refused to hunt people down this year like i used to. i'm just too busy. i also made almost all of my christmas presents starting in august. i bought a few presents, but the most expensive was $20 for my daughter. She's staring to like baby dolls, so I got her one. i was at michaels the other day getting christmas cards ($6 for 50, best deal in town) when this woman was telling her kids it was a lean year and they had to make all their gifts. i looked at their cart and there's no way they'll get it all done starting now. i believe that if you're really going for a noncheap looking homemade christmas for a full family, you need to start at halloween by the latest.


doreenmary said...


I have received your creative work in the mail are so sweet. I'm glad you reduced your "send to" list, but 111 is still far too many cards, methinks, especially to be handmade!

OK, you've inspired me. I am sending my cards out today. I got a beautiful Mary and Jesus Hallmark scene. One thing I like to do with Christmas cards is send a sentiment reflective of the holiday's real meaning. I'm feeling the spirit of being humble, loving and giving to my tiny small circle of loved ones. Jilly, I admire that you have a larger world.

How old is the baby now? What fine fun times for you!

Jilly said...

Mandolin is 14 almost 15 months old now and we're in the process of getting ready for her IEP re-evaluation and thinking about her 18 month testing. 18 month is the big testing where they're going to tell us if she has any learning diabilities so far. i think she'll be fine mentally, it's really just some lingering physical issues.

i didn't do handmade cards this year, i just bought cards that look handmade. they're cards you're supposed to further decorate, but i liked them as they were, so i left them alone, but everyone thinks i handmade them, so that's a real bonus.


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