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My Flat Ass News & Date with a Hot Bachelor.

Geeze. Alright already... your emails and well wishes were swell, but the ass jokes, not so much. Here's the update....

Just because the girl at the doc's office who made the appointment told me it's MONDAY, doesn't mean the appointment is ANY Monday I pick... not today, in fact. My appointment is a week away. Guess I missed that part. And I don't get the hose up me then, either... I have to meet the doctor and pay an office fee first, 'a course, then get instructions and y'all told me I have to drink some ungodly amount of shit juice the night before. So I get it... you have one more week to abuse me with your kindnesses and making me the butt of more jokes, pardon the pun.

But more importantly, tonight is the 2-hour TELL ALL Bachelor show on ABC before next week's finale Rose Ceremony. The heat is on and I have a date with myself and a jack and coke and some crochet work while I watch with glee as the women go toe-to-toe with each other and Jason to find out why they weren't the chosen one. Oh, it doesn't get much better than this.

And so, that's my news and I guess that's all.

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