Blog Archive

Dating Rules for Grown-Ups -- What are They?

OK, so in my NOT SLEEPING (again another night)... I was thinking of what would be a good blog post to elicit some interesting response from my wise readers.

I remember in a sociology class I taught a couple of semesters ago, several students did a group presentation on the evolution of dating decorum.. the culture in a America and how things are different today from back, say, in the 1950s. The students brilliantly pulled all kinds of statistics and integrated the influence of the net, texting, etc. into their presentation. I mean, it was a dramatic contrast over history.

Let's do a hypothetical for discussion: Consider the fact that I'm recently divorced. It's 2009, not 1982 (the year of the last date I ever had before my ex-husband was my steady)... not that I'm planning on dating, but if I were.. and this is highly unlikely and definitely not a plan.. but I'm just saaaayyyinnnnn... in case it were to ever happen. What would you tell someone so obtuse as me what to expect?

Let's do this with a bit of humor. Like David Letterman's TOP 10 DATING RULES. Have fun. Make me a list. (I think this is a job for Blue or Mavis for sure... and maybe if Alias Moi stops by here?) Anyway, please comment.


mavis sidebottom said...

dont ask me I just have random sex with random strangers

schell said...

At this point in your life, I'd say do whatever you feel like doing, whatever is fun and for only as long as it's fun.

Roger D. Curry said...

As you know, I usually write on a doc somewhere else, edit, and move it to wherever others will see it. I'm at my Mom's (she's feeling poorly this evening), I don't have the patience to figure out the shit on her computer (not WP), so I'm doing this off the tips of my fingers. My rules:

1 - Enough honesty about what you will accept that you don't get stuck with a drama queen later - "Look, dear, I WILL continue to drink beer moderately, no I will NOT go to the fucking opera or ballet with you for any reason and while I am always happy to hear your opinions about my tonsorial accomplishments, I will give them such credence as I wish, and I will not tolerate you getting on my ass about them."

2 - Enough honesty about what you will do that you will not get stuck with a drama queen later. "Dear, of COURSE I will bring you breakfast in bed - when you are sick. I will care for you. I will protect you and fulfull the biological and cultural role of the male in a relationship. I will not pay obeisance to your odd whims, respond to sharp demands or walk on eggshells because I think you may get pissed off about something. I will respect you and I require that you respect me."

3 - Curb the gross habits that a guy develops when living along involving escaping body gases and scratching.

4 - Lie when the truth will be hurtful and the lie is harmless. ("No, dear, your butt is perfect in those pants.")

5 - Important: Make it clear FIRST THING that you recognize that she is a Mom FIRST and that you will NEVER be Number One in her heart, and that you wouldn't WANT to be with a woman who would put you ahead of her children. Tell her the same re you as a Dad.

6 - If you are in the sack with her chit-chatting and the equipment is not in go-mode, point that out to her as complimentary, viz, you enjoy being with her for more than the sex.

7 - Don't pin a "magnum" size condom package to your lapel. It scares some ladies. And usually, it's a damn lie.


Jilly said...

re: mission impossible

i haven't been on an honest to god DATE since before I was allowed buy alcohol, so i'm useless to you.

i really dislike meeting new people. i have no idea how or where to meet people for the purpose of dating.

i think this is why dating sites are so popular, even if the internet is full of freaks.

good luck

Anonymous said...

If I had any freaking clue about the rules of dating I wouldn't be a dried up old spinster!