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I Even Dream About Doing It....

I quit smoking July 1st... It was cold turkey and I haven't had a puff since, over a month later long now. No pills, no gum, no patch. I just set my mind to it... enough is enough. And I won't ever go back.

And yet,

I think it was Blu who posted here that she still gets cigarette cravings about once a week, which is long after the time she quit. That seems to be the truth for me, too. Right now as I write this, I have such an intense want to inhale and hold in cigarette smoke, blow it out, and feel a brief euphoric head rush that I would often get. There's really nothing quite like it.

When will I be healed of this desire? It is so annoying to want something bad you can't have. It really pisses me off. I even dream about doing it....

7 comments:

Jilly said...

most people who are addicted have cravings like that on and off again for the rest of their lives. my friend quit cold-turkey almost two months ago and is doing okay. she promised to quit while i was pregnant and did on and off for the past two years. We had an intervention several weeks ago which led to this try. She's developed a terrible cough and has almost constant bronchitis, she needs to quit or it will kill her and she's not even 30 yet. i hope this time she can quit for good. I made her sit and think about when, where, and why she smokes and what she could do at those times and places instead of smoking. This seems to be helping her.

have you ever sat and thought about what sets off a craving, why you smoked and what else you could do?

for my friend smoking was a chance to get away from work for a few minutes and while in the car on the way to work. Now she takes nonsmoking breaks. All the smokers take little breaks to go smoke, she takes little breaks to get fresh air, but not smoke.

jilly

Spidey said...

i have dreams about smoking, and i only smoked for a short time 32 years ago.

Anonymous said...

2009 has been a smoke free year for me and the cravings still come once or twice a week- usually when I am not even thinking about it and it just hits me. Then I remember I quit and try to think of all the sad 50 year old women in smelly coats standing outside office buildings freezing while smoking a cigarette. They look like pathetic and dirty washed up women and I refuse to join that crowd. -blu

Anonymous said...

PS. The cravings go away in about 3-5 minutes and then you're in the clear... so five minutes isn't such a long time to wait.

I don't know how anyone can afford to smoke anymore. I make more money than most and could no longer afford it. I think they're up to ten a pack here. $300 a month is a lot to spend on smoking when you have a mortgage to pay. -blu

aliasmoi said...

We have friends from New Jersey who come down here to load up on cigarettes because of the price difference, but Blu is right - I don't see how anyone can afford to smoke anymore. When I do budgeting with clients - people living in a shelter - I am always stunned at how much some of these people spend a month on cigarettes. Sometimes I want to say, "No wonder you can't pay your bills!" Nobody ever wants to admit to drinking though....

I smoked briefly when I was 14. Then, my friend Beth's mom caught us and threatened to call my mom. I begged her not to, promised to never smoke again, and I never did. But, ever once in awhile - usually when I'm stressed - I still want a cigarette.

Anonymous said...

Blu is fast approaching that "sad, pathetic 50 year old women" status. She makes more money than most? How does she know? She might as well smoke. She already has the washed up, lonely, smelly personality.

A non-smoker

doreenmary said...

Dear Anonymous,

Why the attack on Blu? I don't think Blu is even close to age 50, from what I recall, although I could be wrong. Besides, 50 is the new 30 anyway. And I've seen pics of her, too. She's certainly not washed up. She's got a personality that's fresh and witty, too. And she's a professional working in NYC... I bet she earns competitive wages.

Blu's comments were relevant. Why so mean?

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