Blog Archive

My Run-in with The Old Bitty Who Has No Life Code Enforcement Bitch of the Neighborhood

I am royally ticked off.

So I get up early this morning, remembering I need to bring garbage to the curb before the truck gets here. No make-up, sweats and flannel shirt with pink slipper socks... a real sight as it were, plus I hadn't even had a cup of coffee. I didn't even brush my teeth yet. So I get to the end of the driveway with my garbage can, and there's Miss Homeowners Association Police Bitch with her two poodles or some similar breed of fancy groomed dogs.

"Um... hiiii," she says all fakey sugary sweet and introducing herself as a friend.. and proceeds to tell me that I'm in violation of the deed restrictions for parking the third car. Can't park anywhere except on paved areas. Blah, blah, blah. They take down your license plate number and they send you a letter. Repeated violations result in towing. I'm among a whole bunch of people on my street who pull their cars up on their grass because their driveways are too small for oversized cars or more cars than fit in the driveway.

She says to me, "This is an up-scale community... you should take pride." I really resented that. I do take pride as much as I can and as for being "up-scale"? Pfft. I don't know where this woman comes from but this is a community of value and lower budget, hardly upscaled. Geeze.

This whole confrontation just chaps my ass. But what really toasted me was the attitude of the bitty. I told her, "Don't you think you have bigger fish to fry? C'mon... I'm just a mom with two college kids. And take a look at the frontage. If I have to add concrete to widen the driveway, I have to lose a tree and it's going to look like a concrete jungle."

Here are pics of my situation. All my landscape died, including the grass I laid last spring. I am getting a quote for widening the driveway and I'm just all twisted up about being reprimanded by some dog-walking bitch with no life when I've got more important matters with which to contend.



Jilly said...

eh say thanks, tell her to "piss off" in your head and don't worry. if you start getting notes, then worry about it. if you do get notes, then you know it was her and you never have to be nice to her again and if you want to be petty, can wage a petty war. however, since you're both owners, i actually caution against the petty war, as it's usually not worth it. well, unless she has no idea nor can she prove what you did was you. people are just assholes sometimes. i probably would have been a bitch and said something like "this is high end? honey i don't know where you came from i've lived in high end before, and this really ain't it."

Spidey said...

just a suggestion... how about parking one car in the garage? then you will have room for two cars in the driveway. not taking the bitty's side... just sayin... :)

doreenmary said...

Dear Spidey, Surely you jest. I might be able to fit a hotwheels toy car in my garage but that's about it.

Spidey said...

time for a rummage then if you can't fit a car in the garage. lighten the load and no money for additional concrete!

mavis sidebottom said...

I cant believe people in your street have the right to tell you what to do on your own property .I thought you lived in the land of the free.

Spidey said...

the land of the free is a myth. we can't actually run around doing whatever we want. that would be chaos. however, we can object to things we don't agree with. whether it goes anywhere is another thing.
we aren't allowed to park on our grass here either for any length of time. it stops people from storing old cars that don't run in their yards. yes, you have to have rules for the silly people who don't have any common sense.

Roger D. Curry said...

what is the precise language of the subdiv. covenant? that should be in your closing paperwork.

Anonymous said...

This is The Nagual speaking.

Lately, when confronted with such situations I tend to say what comes first to mind like "My foots about to be in violation of your ass...".

I just can't see the point of pretending that I DON'T find most people absurdly disappointing.

That is all.

Jilly said...

we're allowed to park on our own grass here. i don't care about people parking on their own. i'm tired of other people parking on mine.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any grass to park on! yay!!!!