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I have a date with Hefty Bags and a Glass 'O Wine

If I get all my work done today, I have a vision for this evening: Putting American Idol on the TV in my bedroom while I sip wine and pull crap out of my closet and stuff it into bigass lawn garbage bags for donations, never to be seen again. My closet is full of shit... shit, I tell you.. it's all shit. And everything is on a hanger NOT because I am organized and tidy, but because it's nothing I ever want to take down and wear. All crammed in there... Gawd.

Why is it that a new piece of clothing is so exciting when you first buy and then it sucks moments later and you wonder what the hell you were ever thinking when you bought it in the first place? And yet you let it hang in the closet as if by magic it will become appealing in the future... what's with that?

I am getting rid of all clothes that I don't wear because...

It has to be ironed
I look fat in it
My boobs hang out
It shows back fat
It's hot
It's see through or nipply
It's got some bold print on it
It's stained
It has a safety pin where replaced buttons should go
It hurts (shoes/too tight pants, etc.)
It is an old lady or fat chick concept
It's too young for me and I musta been drunk when I bought it
It's for a swanky affair which will never happen
It's sexy and I'm not
It resembles a get-up or costume
It is no longer white or the color it was supposed to be
It is out of season and never worn


I hope to get rid of 50% of it TODAY!!!

***ADDENDUM**** My sister said to add the following items to be disposed of:

or it has dog hair on it,
is white - (huge boobs and white don't mix),
it's any type of lesbian polo shirt,
anything from walmart,
or makes your pits smell,
or is itchy,
or shows cleavage

Not sure I agree with the Walmart items, I like mine. And cleavage is OK for me ( a little).

7 comments:

Jilly said...

several months ago i got riud of almost every piece of clothing i owned and my room was so clean. i saw a dr oz where some woman was talking about how cleaning your closet is a metaphore and we do it when we're getting our lives under control. i don't know about that. i do know that i had time to do it, was tired of the mess, and realistically, after losing a lot of weight, i didn't need the fat clothes anymore, and keeping them meant i was going to accept failure before i'd even tries at success.

i now own a nice, but small, assortment of clothign in sizes 8-12and it's surreal to contemplate getting rid of the 10 and 12 sizes because i look silly thin those too. who knows what size i'll end up? but i do know, that my cloest is nicely clean for now and i'm happy about it. so good luck.

doreenmary said...

Jilly, what Dr. Oz said is true. We also move furniture around and redecorate at times in our life when we seek to empower ourselves and feel in control. Hence, the swing of emotions during menstrual cycle do have an up side on that spectrum of sanity/insanity. I always invent new things and fix problems when I feel a bit wacky and want to get a grip. And so I will.

Geeze, I'm so impressed by your weight loss! You're terrific!

doreenmary said...

I just added an addendum to the list. My sister made me lol.

Catz said...

I'm impressed with her weight loss as well.

That's good you have more room now with all your unuse things gone.

Roger D. Curry said...

We protest.

Respectfully,
Citizens Coalition for Cleavage

MelissaTheRagamuffin said...

I need to thin out my closet a bit. I just need to make time and do it. Also, part of the problem is - I'm hoping to be a completely different size by the end of summer.

Spidey said...

where are you woman?

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