Blog Archive

If Only I Were Cool....

So I read my self-help books. You remember my earlier blog posts... "Stop Overreacting" etc.... the books about lightening up. Read a book.. be healed? It kind of reminds me of my mother who used to watch the Hawaiian guy on cable TV teach an exercise class (while she's sitting in her recliner sipping coffee, NOT exercising). Or, like the old Seinfeld episode when Jerry goes to get his rental car and there isn't one available ("Anyone can TAKE a reservation, it's KEEPING the reservation that counts).

Theory versus real world, I guess.

I wish I were a better actress… who lets shit roll off the back and smiles when she cries inside. I wish I could hold back when some passionate compelling thought begs to be spoken when really some things are better left unsaid or won’t matter in the long run. Choosing battles? All battles are good enough for me!

I wish I could refrain from teaching, pontificating, correcting and espousing what’s right and wrong, good and bad, when opportunity arises (often). I wish I could fade into the background and not be noticed. Why can’t I whisper or be coy? Why must I jump and run instead of sashaying?

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares.

Everything's Cool.

Relax! No Biggie!

And if you’re like me and you do care… if you get excited about things (good or bad)…. You’re just a freak like me.

Where do my kind live? Are you my people?


A Dog playing with Cats

P.S. Check this out for inspiration: STEPHEN COVEY'S 90/10 PRINCIPLE


mavis sidebottom said...

Oh how I have missed you over the summer

doreenmary said...

lol. How are YOU?

sheila222 said...

I have been waiting for the smiling dog to be replaced in the queue.

Spidey said...

me too with the smiling dog.

doreen. sometimes you can save the world... or not.

mavis sidebottom said...

me? I am hot to trot as ever

Spidey said...

when i visited your blog... phantom of the opera was playing and scared the hell out of me. ;)

doreenmary said...


mavis sidebottom said...

why do you think that you find the things that the bloke talks about on that link you put in , so hard to do?

doreenmary said...


I am guilty of making mountains out of molehills, caring too much, and sweating the small stuff.

I guess I hold those around me to high standards. I actually have tremendous optimism and hope in life and when the small crap messes things up it, I realize it doesn't have to be that way. For those I love, I want them to be accountable, good, responsible, and thoughtful. Incidents when people "don't care" are such a rub to me. Idiocy irritates me, selfishness, and laziness because there's so much potential in this world. I wake up so optimistic... and too often I end up terribly disappointed -- disappointed in others who JUST DON'T CARE.

I can look in the mirror and see my own many flaws... it's not that I'm seeing myself as "better" or ranting on other's mistakes.... I tend to find meaning in many things people think are "small"... I react (overact) to things about which I am sensitive... egregious disregard for acts of goodness and care. If I can make a difference and speak out, I do.

So few people in the world care enough to step up, to self-reflect about situations, instead scoffing at things that have deeper meanings and effect on others and not realizing their effect. To me, every day is a gift and an opportunity and dammit that others intentionally are unkind or nonthinking about the preciousness of it all. Fools!


mavis sidebottom said...

could I just say it's entirely possible that you dont hold the answer to the universe in your hands and people may prefer to do things their way and getting annoyed becuase they dont want to follow your plans is probably the way to an early grave

Spidey said...

doreen. i too used to be the one trying to make all things right. it brought me lots of heartache and disappointment. now i realize i am not responsible for anyone but myself(and big joe for the most part)and i am MUCH HAPPIER!!!! i realized i am not gods gift to the world and now i only give advise when truly asked. i give my opinion rarely. i keep this poem in mind always...

There Is No Indispensable Man
by Saxon N. White Kessinger, Copyright 1959

Sometime when you're feeling important;
Sometime when your ego's in bloom
Sometime when you take it for granted
You're the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining
Is a measure of how you will be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop and you'll find that in no time
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There's no indispensable man.

doreenmary said...

Beloved Alex... I do hear you. Perhaps a lobotomy?

Beloved Spidey... Did you evolve over time or was there a quick fix? (Is there a pill for that? Heh). I enjoyed the poem and your response.


mavis sidebottom said...

Im a great advocate of buddhism to make you realise your place in the universe you dont have to become a Buddhist but you can learn an awful lot about stress reduction and it does change your views although I suspect you would want to be the dali lama after two weeks ;)

doreenmary said...



Love it!!

The Dali Lama's book on happiness is a favorite. Inspiring.

But anyone can read a book. It's LIVING it. Anyone can "take" a reservation, it's "keeping" it that matters.


Thanks, Alex!

mavis sidebottom said...

once you realise you aren't the chair you actually just part of the leg it all becomes so much easier

Spidey said...

it was one moment in time. and it was wonderful.

mavis sidebottom said...

you need to realise you are just part of the chair not the person who sits on it

doreenmary said...

Alex... Sigh. Or ants in an ant hill.

mavis sidebottom said...

all I know is Im much happier just worrying about myself and the effect i have on other people rather than worrying about the effect they have on me

Spidey said...

i love that alex. it seems we are in the same spot.


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