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So Far I'm Underwhelmed....

So I just got my new glasses. They cost one million dollars plus tax (despite the discount pricing at Wal*Mart's Vision Center ~ Discount? Uh, yeah, right).
So, here's the thing... Previously I would buy the cheapest glasses I could find that weren't too geeky. And the purchase would be no frills, no extras... one pair of driving sunglasses, one for night time driving. I totally skipped the "reading" glasses of the prescription cuz it's so light of a prescription, why bother? And previously I said "nay" to the extras like "scratch proof" or whaddever else they pushed for extra monies.
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Anywho... long boring story longer.... the sales clerk convinced me to get ONE pair of glasses totally pimped out.... the progressive lens, transition ones (no line bi-focal) which has the mid range for computer work or seeing your dashboard. PLUS, there's the feature of the lens that magically turn into "shades" in the sun (which I questioned if they would turn into DAMN DARK ENOUGH sunglasses ~ a requirement).... anyway, I was convinced to get the works, after all, they are my eyes, I have coverage with my insurance, and besides, I was feeling more than a bit deserving of something special lately in my pathetic life of overwork and no time for fun.... Why not do something extra nice just for me? So I ordered the glasses about a week ago.
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Today, I picked up my glasses. And I am reporting on the magic of the transition to sunglasses. Now, here's something not too many of you know about me.... I sneeze the second I get sun in my eyes. I don't know why, but it happened to my father his whole life and it happens to my sister, too. Used to be, we'd all walk out of a store or restaurant and the three of us would sneeze three times each and people with us would laugh... but it is well known that sneezing doesn't happen if I (or they, too) have sunglasses on, so I always put my sun glasses on BEFORE I get outside.
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(Pause....how fuckin' boring is this blog post? Must be. Sorry.)
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Anyway, so I put on my new magic glasses and leave Wal*Mart and the f'ing things don't instantaneously change to sunglasses; it takes a minute. Do you know how long a minute is under Florida's sun? I'll tell you how long.... Long enough to sneeze three times, walk through the parking lot and by the time you get into your car, the glasses are then dark, but guess what now? They turn clear again in the car because your car is shaded. But still, the sun is ever so bright outside the car. So I drove home PISSED with the sun in my eyes and every time I stopped at a traffic light, I rolled down my window and held out the f'ing million dollar glasses to get sun on them so they'd turn into sunglasses for a few seconds of peace during my drive home.
So, I'm grumbling all the way home and even now as I wear them.... UNTIL, my daughter tells me how pretty they are and that they look soooooooo good on me, even without make-up. Then, my mom stopped over a little while ago and she also made a big deal how pretty they are.
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So then I decided I LOVE MY GLASSES and will adjust to them, or just use my old prescription sunglasses in serious sun.
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But then again... I thought about how childish I am ~ and vain and bratty, which annoyed me. I am reminded of Aesop's Fable, The Fox and the Crow. Do you remember the tale and the moral of the story?
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A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree. "That's for me, as I am a Fox," said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree. "Good-day, Mistress Crow," he cried. "How well you are looking to-day: how glossy your feathers; how bright your eye. I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does; let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds." The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox. "That will do," said he. "That was all I wanted. In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future ."Do not trust flatterers."
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Truth is, glasses are to serve a need. I think my attitude of cheap glasses was fine. Anyway, I'm going to give these a chance...these million dollar specs... and see if it'll work out.
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The End!

3 comments:

mavis sidebottom said...

I buy my glasses off the web. last time I gt a pair of frames from tjmaxx for 6 quid( dkny no less ) sent them to the online place with my prescription, got them back four days later fitted with prescription lens all for £26 or $45 of you us dollars check on the web and see if you ahve that option too

doreenmary said...

That is TERRIFIC Mavis! I want to find a way to get my glasses online in the US!

Spidey said...

is that you sarah palin?

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