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Big Things.

The lease on my townhouse is up at the end of July. I have been looking at houses to purchase, despite that post-divorce I have credit blemishes and bank financing was going to be a problem. It was great luck that a home became available in the neighborhood where I was looking and the sellers offered owner-financing (5.5% - 30 years with a 5 year balloon, which will give me enough time to get my finances straight for remortgaging in 2014). I was able to scrape together enough down payment money and prove stable good income for the sellers to verify and we've got a contract on the house. I move July 31st, the date my lease ends on the townhouse.

I gotta tell ya, there's a whole mental part of renting versus owning that I learned. When you rent, you don't want to do things, like plant a garden, because it never really feels like home. If the rug gets dirty where you rent, you feel like you did something bad to someone's property. I just never connected, never felt "home," despite how really pretty it is here and convenient and all. I don't like being a borrower. I want my own shit.

Things are different now than they ever were and "home" takes on a whole new connotation. I have to think a few years ahead with my kids planning all sorts of things...going away to the university, etc. Kelly (age 16) starts college this July as a high school junior - dual enrollment. She'll be close to having her associates degree before she graduates H.S. and it's all paid for by the state as a program for students with good grades.... Kev has been attending the junior college on 100% scholarships... is now going to summer school to graduate early and go to the University for his Bachelor's in a year... we haven't even touched his pre-paid plan yet, so his university costs will be offset (Thank God) with the pre-paid savings program I paid into over the past 18 years. As such, I know it's really just a couple of years before the kids are just temporary residents in my home... or coming/going so much, that home will really be just me, alone.

So I wanted a house that allowed personal space for the kids to have their comforts, yet wasn't so fricken large that times when I live alone I wouldn't be running a/c for a large place. with rooms empty This home I found is small.... 3 BR/2 BA/2 Car garage.... about 1400 SF living space... just enough. It's all been redone with real cherrywood flooring and kitchen cabinets and tile and it's really pretty. The neighborhood is quiet with lots of trees and a bit farther out and away from hustle/bustle. We'll add about 5-10 miles to travel times to our work/school, but I think it's a great trade-off when you consider the price differential. I'm shaving about $400 off my monthly house payments, which gives me some breathing room... hopefully can afford and get Kelly a shitbox car and get it insured so she can get around.

I haven't allowed my head to wrap around this whole sale yet because I don't want to jinx it, but I'm starting to think of the floor plan now and where things will go and how nice it will be. And I'm getting a tad happy about it all. I think this is such a healthy thing for me towards independence and mental wellness and have truly come to realize that I have journeyed dark places and thoughts in the past few years and I'm tired of beating myself up. I need to move forward and find my place with pride someplace as an unmarried woman, accepting the role as who I am and I'm OK.

This is good.

7 comments:

mavis sidebottom said...

fucking brilliant you deserve some good stuff :D

sheila222 said...

I think it is lovely! I know you will enjoy!

Spidey said...

it is so cute and adorable and just the right size. i love the bathroom sink. i am very happy for you. :) yeah!!!!!

Jilly said...

congrats to you and good luck.

i hated renting until i bought a house and had to replace almost every fucking thing in it over a 3 month period.

if i had it all to do over again, i'd get a 3 or 4 br condo. no lawn, no fence, no neighbors to park in my yard with their kids tossing trash onto my grass on their way down the street.

of couse, if i'd got a condo, i'd just be bitching about that too.

jilly

schell said...

Beautiful. Perfect size and no upgrades needed.

Anonymous said...

I've never rented in my life though owning a co-op was as good as renting will all the rules and restrictions. I love having a house. I pay a big mortgage on a big house I don't need for just some peace and quiet. -blu

karim said...

A valuable post on mental wellness.

Thanks,
Karim - Mind Power

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