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Final Episode of The Bachelor - Reflections

Tenley is an articulate, sweet, lovely lady. Such a woman makes a wonderful mother, companion and best friend. So pretty, so thoughtful... seemingly so perfect. The "good" girl. And most of America rooted for her.

In contrast, Vienna is adventuresome, fiesty, an untamed shrew and a challenge. We loved to hate her.

Jake is a pilot (which to choose such a profession is to be quite an adventurer archetype) and he's not so deep... really. His needs are quite simple. He wants a sidekick with whom to enjoy life. Maybe some viewers projected unto him that he's something different than he is.

Some men want romance and depth. Some men want fire. Passion. Adventure. Whether it lasts or doesn't last between Jake and Vienna is not the issue... he made a choice for what rocks his world. today... and for the years in the immediate future. Vienna is very young and she is responsive to him, moldable... they could make it. I like to believe in romantic magic. I want them to succeed.

I looked at ABC's discussion board and the unkindnesses and bashing going on. I understand that... there's an inner desire for "good to win" and that shallow will lose to favor something more meaningful. And that didn't happen, seems.

I've learned that people enter our world for reasons we don't understand... someone so different and captivating and exhausting and reckless can teach lessons. We often don't know why we are attracted to who we are, but maybe there are reasons and seasons and plans already laid in a somewhat fateful way.... maybe we are all where we're supposed to be in this journey, surrounded by the people with whom we will grow and change because of their influence, and they because of us.

It seems so easy to judge. What really does ANYONE know about anything?

And what's forever for?

For me... one year post-divorce and upon reflection of all my values and core beliefs about what love means and what commitment means and where passions lie.... have all come into question. The older I get and the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know a thing. I don't know what I believe. And that's OK, I think. When you think you've got all the answers, you're probably full of your own crap.

And many have said it about the bachelor... he really doesn't know what he wants. Or thinks he does. And maybe what he needs today is good enough.

Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in love and life. To thine own self be true. There are many take-aways from this show.. so many. And those who criticize those who enjoy and watch this show as some romantic bullshit, are missing some deeper ponderings... about the psychology of men and women and what things are raw and human and where ego lives and where the heart goes. There's such inner struggle for all mankind in this aspect of life... loving another.

I think it was a compelling season rift with controversy and oozing of complexity. We'll never know the whole story. It took Jake quite some courage to go against all forces in choosing a woman who was rejected so openly by her peers and even his family. But shouldn't we give the couple a chance?

I enjoyed last night's show. Both my daughter and I shed a tear or two at Tenley's loss... but in the end... the right thing happened for all.


Jilly said...

is there any law saying that these people have to stay together just because they were paried on TV?

Roger D. Curry said...

Jake is a dumbass. He needs to get hammered, get laid and get a life.

The Grinch

mavis sidebottom said...

perhaps hed rather have someone whos not perfect and has a bit of a spark, perhaps he sees forty odd years living with someone perfect as a prison sentence rather than a partnershipI know i would . perhaps soem people need something other than an even keel all the time

Anonymous said...

You can't choose who you have a spark with. Too many women sit and analyze, but it all comes down to chemistry. And it makes me wonder, when people disagree with this, if they ever truly felt a spark with anyone and know what the heck it's all about.

I also found Tenley's voice to be beyond annoying... I really think there was something real there between Jake and Vienna... if it lasts, who knows, but how many relationships last anyway so they shouldn't be judged more than the next.


doreenmary said...

Mavis... Me, too. The even keel personality doesn't appeal to me. I prefer people who feel and react and express what's inside.