This is nice. My house is clean (that's because the culprit for mess didn't come home from college this weekend - yes, I'm sad.... I miss my Kelly) and there is something so lovely, too, about the quiet and claiming this space all mine this weekend.

The Season of Fall has come to the northern states I keep hearing from friends who live there. In Florida, the subtle sign that it is September is that you don't drip sweat in the first minute you leave the indoors, it only takes now 7 minutes now to melt, so I know Autumn is near for us. So I celebrate this loveliness... gots me a cinnamon broom at the grocery store last night... I put it in the foyer and its scent brings me closer to times of past I now long for.... Fall. Football games on TV entirely too loud, a room full of happy people eating some great snack recipe I made and kids with friends in a house of happy. I am so glad I lived the American Dream and had my family for so many years... and I'm very happy where my life brings me now... different, quieter, alone... still good.

The semester ended yesterday of the class I was teaching. This weekend I shall grade finals. I have a large project for my marketing job, too. And I love the quiet work to do.

I haven't updated you guys.... I am Dr. Lewis now... My dissertation passed oral defense a couple of weeks ago and I just got my official transcript of completion of the PhD in Psychology. Will frame my diploma and hang it in my room. I chuckle.... big deal, heh. And nothing changes, I still am me and confetti didn't drop out of the sky to celebrate this feat I accomplished. Truth is, I'm a little frightened to NOT have the burden of studies (as my excuse to avoid social events, or why I didn't get some other task done because I was busy with school). God forbid I should rest a bit... So within one day of graduation, I began writing a journal article for the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, taking my 175 page dissertation and summarizing it in 39 pages, which, if accepted by the journal will likely shorten to about 20 pages.

I submitted my research (about which I am very proud). The Journal assigned me an editor (peer reviewer) to evaluate my research and deem it worthy of publishing. I was sent her name and I looked up her credentials. She is a Purdue grad, a professor, an author of numerous articles about my topic of research (love and commitment, passion, and intimacy) and a true scholar. I'm slightly intimidated as a new scholar and fear her editing comments will rip to shreds my life's work. But I think BAH! if that happens.... I will still be me. It's just that I long to do great things while I'm here on planet earth, and I think I can do that through research and writing, given my penchant and wishes for a world that has so much human potential.

I got me an HTC HD2 windows-platform phone. It is sexy and it makes my heart beat fast. I hate the Iphone, but I do like its form factor... the HTC is even cooler (kinda like a slate). I'm trying to learn SWYPE.... very cool method of texting. I gave up my Droid phone.... loved the apps very much, but for working my jobs, I prefer to have some of the Windows Business stuff to automate stuff. I'm a techno 'ho... I try to commit to a new phone for two years, but I never seem to go longer than a year without getting a bug up my ass for better technology. I might configure the phone for dual op systems to add Android (HD2 is the only phone capable of running two systems).

As I write this so happy and sweet, I knew it wouldn't be long lasting. The effing neighbor just fired up his LEAF BLOWER and I'm fricken annoyed. So now I'm not so peaceful and easy feelin'

So what's new with you?

So I read my self-help books. You remember my earlier blog posts... "Stop Overreacting" etc.... the books about lightening up. Read a book.. be healed? It kind of reminds me of my mother who used to watch the Hawaiian guy on cable TV teach an exercise class (while she's sitting in her recliner sipping coffee, NOT exercising). Or, like the old Seinfeld episode when Jerry goes to get his rental car and there isn't one available ("Anyone can TAKE a reservation, it's KEEPING the reservation that counts).

Theory versus real world, I guess.

I wish I were a better actress… who lets shit roll off the back and smiles when she cries inside. I wish I could hold back when some passionate compelling thought begs to be spoken when really some things are better left unsaid or won’t matter in the long run. Choosing battles? All battles are good enough for me!

I wish I could refrain from teaching, pontificating, correcting and espousing what’s right and wrong, good and bad, when opportunity arises (often). I wish I could fade into the background and not be noticed. Why can’t I whisper or be coy? Why must I jump and run instead of sashaying?

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares.

Everything's Cool.

Relax! No Biggie!

And if you’re like me and you do care… if you get excited about things (good or bad)…. You’re just a freak like me.

Where do my kind live? Are you my people?

Signed,

A Dog playing with Cats

P.S. Check this out for inspiration: STEPHEN COVEY'S 90/10 PRINCIPLE

Blog duldroms. Does anyone read this?

I've been focused on other things and blogging fell by the wayside.

1) Started teaching a college class, Human Growth & Development, at Rasmussen College for the next 11 weeks. It's half online and 2 hours a week in the classroom.
2) Volunteer Work - Doing my Homeowner's Association Website
3) Done with my PhD dissertation (awaiting defense conference scheduling - I'm ready!)
4) Rewriting Dissertation (170 pages) to a small journal article (about 25 pages) to publish... targeting The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and also preparing a book proposal (need to find an agent).
5) Kevin is back home from Canada and I've been cooking meals every day.
6) Cleaning closets and using SPACE BAGS (as seen on TV) to freeze dry winter clothes and fat clothes and store neatly.
7) Decided I absolutely HATE shopping crowds and am now ordering all my dry foods, cleaning items, kitchen stuff that isn't produce or meat ONLINE delivered (walmart.com, Amazon Grocery, etc.). I'm only going to Save-a-lot for produce & cold items. It's working out great!
8) Reading lots... Love the Kindle. Further to earlier blogging... definitely working on issues of impatience and bad behaviors!

What's up with you?

Beloved Friends,

I need your help.

I'm an equal opportunity OFFENDER. That means anyone in my path is subject to my abusive ways. I'm not sure if this ugliness about me comes through my blogging (does it?)... I'm aware of my persona, I think, but I guess I need to be MORE aware and start caring a little more.

OK, so... someone I love told me I have to "lighten up". I take things too seriously, get mad over little things, I leave dead bodies strewn about the landscape with verbal attacks when I am criticized. Every issue is important to me and I'm always ready for a fight or a debate. Things are often about ME and not about US (whoever "us" may be) and being right always takes precedence over getting along with others.

I think pretty much that sums up the truth about me. It's not hard to get a rise out of me. Just wind me up. You'll get fists. Scowls... fast reaction and a quick wit to return verbally what comes at me.

Some would say it's an insecurity of sorts. Oh bother... who the hell isn't insecure (<--see! There it is again! The "attitude" coming out again)

I'm well aware that this character trait about me doesn't mesh well with the peace & harmony agenda of Planet Earth, which of course permeates business, personal relationships, dealings with the public -- pretty much all of daily living.

I know I can't "buy" a sense of humor and light heartedness (cuz if I could I would). I do wish there was a reform school for people like me.... hardheaded women. I first noticed my evil ways in business when I would come up against opposition about something in which I believed was right and good. Rules of decorum were usually broken and sometimes even with some sick glee inside of me.

If things are going too smoothly in any aspect of life... well, you can count on me to stir the pot and create chaos, where I emerge on some journey of corrective action... leading the pack into new ways.

I'm sure this is all very psychological... but for now, let's not go through a review of my effed-up childhood or significant life events to find what went wrong in my early years to make me such a freak. Suffice it to say, I'd like to NOT psychoanalyze this and instead, find some coping mechanisms and new habits and approaches to every day living. I would like a FAST-TRACK to improved behavior.

I need advice.

For example, when I am at a restaurant and I need a napkin and the waiter is no where in sight, I'm the type of person to jump up, go behind a counter or in the kitchen (employees only area) and get what I need. This makes people with me a little nervous, which I understand... I'm jussayin, this is what's wrong and the very types of behavior that need to be softened. They are habits and they are deeply ingrained.

I kinda yell, too.

I think hanging up the phone as appropriate action when someone says something I don't like.
Or saying "F you," when someone is rude (which I realize "f you" is also quite rude). But that isn't nice to say to mother, so to speak. Or a boss, or a clerk at the gas station.

Charm school for grownups?

A book about finding peace and humor?

Googling the key phrase, "how to lighten up"?

Any suggestions?

Sigh.

Signed,

Chuckles the Clown

I know. I haven't blogged. You let me know. I have been writing. Just not here.

Checked a few boxes of things done these past few weeks: I completed my dissertation. I await the scheduling for defense of my research. I'm considering walking the graduation ceremony (will require travel) to receive my doctorate degree... This would be a quiet, solo celebration that I just may want to indulge... my research has been my lover for quite a number of years... my life's work. It's a personal goal achieved and I feel it through me with great passion.

I've been working on home improvements... new plantation shutters, herb garden, new lawn.

I have been intensely involved with Kelly's high school graduation, prom, award ceremonies, and college preparations. She's moving on campus in early August. Another transition in the household.

I've been very close with friends in transition lately... have even gone out for girls night, etc. Entertained in the home, etc. Feeling socially engaged and alive in it right now.

I'm in a state of contemplation... a good place, actually.

I am open, full of joy, aspiring, excited about many potential things to come. My world feels rich with relationships I nurture. Hmmmm and I don't know why, but for once, I feel some of the good things I put out there are beginning to flow back to me in kind. It kinda gives me pause... and at the same time scares me.

Why is so hard to accept love and goodness when it comes one's way? It's so easy to give, but to receive, it's just so humbling...

So that's the short of the news these days... I will write longer the way I usually do... soon.

How are you? I am on Facebook by the way... lots of pictures always get posted there.

So, I got my usual Springtime bug-up-my-butt burst of energy and desire to make things nice. So.. Here are a few pics of my new lawn, new flooring (shown is Kev's room)... And as a cheap alternative to real curtains or shades, I bought a roll of bamboo reed fencing in the garden department of Home Depot ($23) and hung the fence up with a bunch of nails to block the Florida sun. AND, I've been using my new grill... last night's chicken came out great, but takes a long time to cook. Having fun.

Learning to cook on a grill is on my bucket list.

So today I bought myself a gas grill. Then I stopped at the store and got some NY strip steaks and baking potatos and fresh corn on the cob and mushrooms and salad fixings. And I invited over my sister and her daughter and my Kelly was here. And I called my ex to ask if he'd show me how to grill and come to dinner. And he came, and I learned. And we listened to Jimmy Buffet and we talked, and we laughed like old times. And I had fun.

But then I got sad, for things that used to be but are no more...

And I think I drank too much wine for my head hurts. So I'm going to lay down now and put something on the TV that is fun and stupid. But I wanted to blog first and post these pictures.

The end.

My daughter is a hulahoop champion. And I am not.

Today, just for fun, I brought home two hulahoops for us and I gave it a whirl, taking tips from the champ. And again and again I hooped it, because I can't sustain it for very long. And when I became a sweaty mess, huffing and puffing, and complaining all the while (even through the laughter)... I decided I am going to practice and BECOME the world's oldest and greatest hulahooper in my podunk town.

... because this is what a person does when she loses her mind and reverts to childhood. This is what a person does to take out stress, and because being a responsible grown-up just gets a little boring sometimes.

That's what's new here.

Today is Palm Sunday. Today is also my father's birthday. Here's a pic of him circa 1980 as I best remember him. He would have turned 69 if he lived. I miss him greatly and fondly remember the last Palm Sunday we had together in 2001, two months before he passed.

Daddy loved Sundays. "A day of rest," he called it.

I remember I used to say to him, "How can you just SIT there and lounge around all day long like that?"

He'd say, "Happiness is the absence of unhappiness."

He was a gentle, peaceful loving man who knew how to connect with hearts of all. He'd say, "I can hang with the princes or the paupers," and he still would find comaradarie among all. I miss him hugely. And if I weren't so stubborn, I'd honor him this day and REST instead of work.

Is Sunday YOUR day of rest? Blessings on Palm Sunday to you!

"You're too emotional."

"Big boys don't cry."

"I'm not going to deal with you if you're going to cry."

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Somewhere in our youth, or maybe long ago in history, it was decided by some important people and became a social norm that displays of emotions are bad. BAD! Ya hear me? And so... we grow from innocence of childhood (in which all our feelings are unfiltered and openly expressed) into "grownups" who stifle it. And we survive and we bear pain and we bravely go through life denying much of what lies underneath. And as we do this, so comes along little tiny ramifications from that... oh, little things, like alcoholism, bitterness and anger, sarcasm, cancer, headaches, etc. etc.

This is a blog post that proposes a kinder, gentler view.

When we laugh, I mean really crack up, nobody points a finger and goes... "Oh my God, your laughter is interrupting this conversation.. stop it and pull yourself together!" Usually, we welcome such display of emotion and pause while someone collects themself from the giggles and we don't judge. Contrast that... if a friend is telling a story that has a sad part, say, they ran over a turtle in the road and killed it on their way to work... and a few tears drop... you can usually deal with that discomfort, but even so, it is LESS accepted than the laughter scenario. Too raw! We don't like to see people in pain because it affects our sense of balance.... so we tend to try to make it better. We don't want it!

Another scenario... let's say you are arguing with someone or hurt and you need to tell the other person how you feel. Crying or negative emotion is often met with rejection, judging, and refusal to face it. And so many times, people just forgo even trying to communicate, they shut down. And a vicious cycle ensues of repressing and suffering alone. Or maybe you end up on the counselor's couch or at a friend's house with a glass of wine -- a safe place to express emotion where someone will listen and care. Counselors and best friends know that tears are like laughter through a conversation, let it roll out, and sometimes it clears up one or two sentences later.

I had an intellectual debate the other night over drinks with friends. Someone said we choose our emotions... that we decide our view on something and whether to be sad or not. While it's true we can psych ourselves out to modify feelings, the truth is that they are either simple or complex physiological responses that we do NOT control. Feelings are never right or wrong, they just are.

The dictionary says this to defin EMOTION: 1.A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling [dictionary.com]

I know many of you have a sense of who I am from my many years of blogging. I am an emotional individual who is very much in touch with the inner world. Some would describe me as "wearing my heart on my sleeve" - I'm a pretty easy read as to how I'm feeling - very open. Although sometimes I am often perceived by others as emotionally "fragile," such is not the case. Just because you freely express what's inside in all honesty does not mean you don't have control. It means you are less inhibited than others to show what is inside of you to the outside world.

I believe that relationships would be enriched by the release of feelings, more sharing, and an openness that encourages emotional display rather than concealment and control. Truth is exposed by sharing. Compassion is learned when we witness another's pain. Love should be active and rich with expression of ALL things.. the good, the bad, even the ugly. And raw, deeply-felt emotion is truly an indicator of individual or relationship wellness. It is a guiding force. We should explore our own feelings daily (meditatively) and use them to help us to making life changes when things aren't in balance.

Emotions are universal. Everybody feels. And we feel regardless of age, socioeconomics, or any demographic that separates us. Then why deny what is real? And yet our culture discourages. It seems to me it is a more difficult life experience to be "emotional" than stoic. You put yourself out there and there is less compassion and understanding than should be in the world.

But despite the harder road taken... I cannot imagine a different existence than the authentic one, the emotional one, the communicative one that has hope for human connection, compassion, and love. Honest, true, in touch. Can you imagine a world in the future if we embraced this idea wholly as a human race?

That's what I say.

...unless you really want to. Fresh peach carnations. Mango nail polish. Whisper pink lip gloss. Women's magazines. A bigass jar of Noxema.

I just got back from Winn-Dixie. I had had two glasses of merlot right beforehand. I went in for a gallon of milk... came out with these other things. But it is good.

My friend Peggy taught me some things I never learned in life. I learned by watching... just by the way she leads her life. If you go to her house, she always has fresh flowers.

I used to whine that there are some girls who get flowers and others who don't (me).... but not any more. Peggy gave me proverbial "permission" to buy myself a bouquet and not just on special occasions, but WEEKLY! And I do! And it makes me so very happy.

Every girl should have a Peggy in their life... a real "lady" girlfriend... someone feminine and indulgent a bit in nice things. There are things to learn from them. It is easy to forget your charm... just throw your hair in a ponytail and go... sans make-up... unmatched shoes. I remember one time I was wearing some slip on flat moccasins with shorts and Peggy said, "Don't you ever wear those again... put on a sandal with a little heel. Be pretty!"

If you're a girl, do you have someone in your life who makes you accountable to be good to you? Do you have a Peggy?

Now I am having coffee and blogging. This month's issue of Southern Living beckons. Maybe there is an episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County on tonight.

I worked hard this past week. In fact, I am on the final chapter of my dissertation (analysis of results) and put together a statistical analysis and wrote 12 pages. It is time to rest now. I earned it.

And I'm going to call Peggy and just listen. She always has fun stories to tell me.

Cabernet Sauvignon.

I realize indulgence doesn't make the world weariness go away, but I'm quite adequately in the zone of not giving much of a flip finally. Finally.

So I wish you were here. I have so much to say and I care to listen too.

Inspire me... about what things shall I blog? What do you want to know? I'll tell ya anything. Just ask.... Or, tell me your stuff. Spew, gloat, whaddever. We're friends... you can say anything.

A while ago I posted a blog entry entitled "Excessive Rate" which gives the backstory to the fact that whenever I write a check, I write something off color in the memo section of it.

I was just looking at my checkbook online and had to laugh… I noticed a deduction and couldn’t remember what that was.. til I clicked on it to open up the actual check image. It was the $1,200 check I’d written to Community Hospital at 4:45 A.M. on the day of surgery. I don’t even remember writing the damn thing… but in the “memo” space at the bottom left of the check, I had written “a fun time”. I just crack myself up!

Even funnier… Someone at the hospital crossed out my “memo” and wrote my account number over the top of “a fun time”.

Don’t they have any sense of humor whatsoever???

So I haven't blogged recently. I've sat down here and started a few entries and ended up abandoning them, thinking often... who cares about what I'm writing? And who is my audience REALLY? And I often wonder if I'm writing TO you or FOR you (to entertain, share, etc.) or FOR me (to purge, to seek counsel, to just be human and express for the sake of it)... It's probably all of those reasons. I write -- therefore, I am.

Isn't it kind of egocentric to blog, generally speaking? As if I have something to say that really matters? Something so intimate out there on a public forum... I guess I feel somewhat courageous that I am willing to expose my humanness in hopes someone reading this finds connection. But is that a haughty thought? Maybe... but sincerely, I'm all about making human connection and I can be my own worst enemy in that regard.

Lately, I've been pondering the concept of public persona versus authentic self. You know, there really is a difference and if you don't agree, I would bet that you are living in the "public self" zone most of the time and not taking the time to explore the complexities of the inner life experience... which is my "home" and most comfortable place to be, albeit alone. But as a generation of multi-taskers, it's not not a hard thing for us to avoid what's inside us... you can run run run doing all kinds of activities and keep your mind from its quiet place of just being... and forget who it is that you really are. You can forget who is important in your world and you can forget to nourish them... and nourish yourself, too.

Pause.

Sigh. Most of us find discomfort in human connection that is intimate. Yet it is a basic human need... it really is. So.. even through fear. I say this: I want to know the kind of people who will "go there" with me... share in the quiet, in a free space to be whatever -- just OK with the challenges of life and feeling the pains and joys with equal amounts of passion. A song of that desire and THAT kind of friendship is HERE . I heard it for the first time yesterday even though it's a few years old and it made me realize something missing of great depth in the world. If you have a support system... you are truly blessed. Anyway. Sigh. I pushed away so many friends when I had surgery because I'm such a tough old broad who doesn't NEED anyone or anything. Pfft... Full of myself.

Feeling my hands are in fists... fighting recovery. Losing a sense that anything much matters or will matter in ten years. Today, I'm writing down some goals to de-funkify myself of these feelings and regain a sense of power.

Recently I have been bogged down with a great deal of activity -- doing for others, events, meetings, work projects. (I will blog about my college visit with Kelly to Eckerd College soon... it was terrific). Anyway, I haven't indulged in the quiet as much as I need, which I indeed miss.... This post-op situation has played a tremendous role in that... I collapse into bed for sleep and get myself so ill from overdoing it, I can't even think. (Recovery is going fairly well... I just don't like not being my best physcially right now). That said, in this flurry of activity, I am thinking of all that now... kind of like an "experiment"... asking myself, "What is happening here," as I just go, go, go and don't stop and reflect... All of life is like that... experiment after experiment, seeing if you change behavior what different outcomes emerge. Oh, I have some thoughts about it all. It makes me sad that we fill our lives with so much to do and each day blends into another. Months pass. We are a hamster on a wheel... Jesus, can't we just make it all stop?

I'm so damn tired! Maybe I need a vacation... and then I think what a hefty amount of money to take the time to be basking in the sun like a lounge lizard and it's just a temporary fix or escape. You go back to work with double the load, so is that really relief?

Anyway... And they say life isn't about being happy... it's about endurance and weathering the trials with your personal best... attitude, gaining wisdom.... and becoming.

OK.. will end this on a positive note...

Today, I choose my mood... and tackle this day with good attitude.

I'm blogging. I'm back! And how are you?

I survived. I won't give you the hairy scary details and bore you to death, but here's a summary of some of my "take-aways" from this experience...

• Good nurses make all the difference. Jesus, what a hard job that must be.
• You find out who loves you (and who doesn't give a shit) when you are going through something like this. And the answers are not what you thought.
• Heroic acts by friends far and near come in small packages and are often tiny acts of kindness.
• By comparison (this being my first surgery)... I learned it is harder (for me) to be a loved one of someone having surgery than being the one getting the surgery.
• Physical pain isn't nearly as bad as fear, in and of itself
• Peeing is special... especially after not being able to do so.
• Chihuahuas are easily offended when you don't let them pounce on your belly
• Emails can wait.

So these are my thoughts for the day. I have a follow-up doc visit at 1:00 today. That's the news.

Hudson researcher puts Cupid in her sights - St. Petersburg Times

This is an interview I did last week. The article is online at the St. Petersburg Times' website and in print tomorrow.

First, in response to your comments to blog entry about Seeking the Quiet, my post earlier this week.... thanks for the kind words and the funny ones, too. It always fascinates that those who are in touch with my writing/ramblings seem to recognize the cyclical nature of my emotional side in tune with the tides and life cycle of a woman. For those concerned that you will miss the ramblings of a whore-moanal woman.... fret not, for as I understand it from my doctor, in a hysterectomy in which the ovaries are left intact, that all stays. So, things shouldn't change terribly after my surgery on Monday. I'm all set and cleared for the operation.

Today is my birthday... it is not a milestone birthday other than I am on the closer side to 50 now instead of 40, and that's notable, I suppose. Will be layin' low at home, choosing a quiet celebration.

Hey.... some great news to share! Kelly got accepted to Eckerd College! She is entering the pre dental program in the fall. I am very proud and we have much to which look forward.

More later....

Do you welcome solitude... time alone to allow what's inside of you to surface? Or, in constrast, do you create or engage the world so full of opportunities, overscheduled and chaotic? If things are going well, do you cherish the chance to rest when nobody is demanding? Or do you instead stir up the things and people around you to create more activity, seeking greater stimulation and opportunities?

Does activity enliven you? Or do you feel "at home" in the spirit of quiet where you can just be? Whatever your preference, it may not be known to those closest to you. Sometimes the busiest people actually NEED and thrive on the quiet... like I do. Appearances aren't always what they seem... A person who is gregarious and seemingly extroverted may wear that mask because his or her job requires it, people expect that, etc. Oh I am so good at playing parts in my world. But that is not the real me, where I am most comfortable.

And then there is now... in the quiet. My music, my beloved blog, the freedom to be without having to be "something" or "someone"... a place of acceptance and flow, without judgment. And just enjoying this wholesome feeling of being OK with me. Anything goes.

My mind is on fire with so many thoughts and dreams and creativity. To some, it seems indulgence to engage the quiet. I hear so often that I need to just "go" "do" "live it" and don't question, inquire, or analyze. Time spent "just thinking" doesn't produce measurable outcomes, some say - like folded laundry, or memos that need sending, or a crowd of people watching a football game eating chips and dip, or any tangible thing. That's what they all say...

Oh they do not know the beauty of the quiet.. or what "MY" quiet means to me. I indulge for a time before a superbowl party this evening. I long for this. Time feels stolen and all mine, sneakily divine when I know I should be grading papers or sorting the hamper contents. I am alone. I am in the quiet... and sometimes I think this old familiar place (my imagination) is somehow going to spark solutions and awakenings, but that rarely ever happens, except sometimes it does. But today, right now... I just want to listen to lyrics and instruments and feel OK against the tide of a world that often feels so oppositional.

I am prayful today. In that way, my sadness rises. I don't understand the sadness and why lately it is everpresent within me. It is an energy, but it isn't bad. It isn't a bad thing... it is gentle and real and guiding. I am focused. I am in touch but not necessarily related to things ever so important. I know I want to find meaning in things not right around me. I am inspired through the sadness. I welcome whatever it is to try to understand it and work through it. Today, I can't put my finger on any one thing.

Sleepy, dreamy, contemplative, open.

Do not dismiss the quiet as a place to avoid.

Take off your shoes. Why do people wear shoes in the house? If it's cold, then slippers. If not, barefeet. Be comfortable. Coffee or tea isn't just for the morning, it's great like now.. after 3:00. Rest. Sleeeeeep.... poppies.

Do you have someone in your life with whom you can lay on a bed and both look up at the celing and just talk... or not talk... talk about nothing, just be in the quiet, hearts aligned, reveling in life experience without drama or activity, simply the relationship? Why can't we have more of this in our world?

Something about Sundays seem to give us permission to be in the quiet. End of the week and a day of rest... even God said it. Decades ago, no stores were open on Sundays... not grocery stores, not the mall... we were forced to stay home. Some of us remember... some of us practice a day of rest or at least a few hours.

Soon I will flurry about my room to put on make up and go to a party, but these last precious moments of quiet I claim for only me.

I hope you'll find some quiet for you and realize its beauty. Don't be fast to dismiss its value to the wholeness of living.