So here's the thing... Things have changed people. And if you're sitting there with a Starbucks double latte mocha in hand at your desk reading this on your big wide-ass monitor that got you to this blog site at flying DLS or fios speed playing this video (excellent, BTW... from Phil Collin's farewell tour in Paris in 2004).... Consider yourself lucky. Our country's economy has truly changed what is real for so many Americans.

I remember when my beloved father was alive... I was a V.P. for a NYSE company and I had just had one of my infamous battles with the company about something so big & important (so it seemed at the time)... and I shared with daddy a fear of... one of these days pushing the envelope so far I'd be fired and without a job. I'll never forget his reply... "Pfft... This is America. You'd snap back and get another job. Do you ever see anyone starving to death HERE where we live? Have you ever seen anyone starving to death? Of course not! So relax a bit..." he said.

Fast forward my life through a job layoff, a divorce, a foreclosure and personal bankruptcy... a few years later... kids going off to college, starting new jobs/business, getting a new home... all that... and oh, the many nights so very alone running the numbers... and figuring out calendar dates when a mortgage payment might hit the bank account a day before the pay check goes in... or how I'm going to pull off a decent enough Christmas party outfit... etc. I never was starving, but I sure can write you a tale of suffering that "seems so bad"... but I have been lucky, for I have never been starving. Maybe I had to wait a week to buy groceries (still today), but there was always something to eat.... stilll cheese in the fridge. At least I always had food and a roof and a car.

People are starving out there. They really are. OK OK... yea, there are a lot of people who DON'T TRY... but I'll bet you a huge percentage really are down & out due to circumstances. I'm one of the people everyone yells at because I give the loose change and a few bucks to a panhandler. You never know who is an angel. You never know if you really make a difference in the tiniest ways.

I was driving home from the grocery store this evening. I had carefully shopped for the week (and I can do it for the three of us for a little over $100 a week now)... and with my bigass car filled with packages, I drove behind the grocery store to hit the service road... a short cut. Behind there are the big dumpsters the stores use. I saw a family there... a skinny man standing in the dumpster passing thrown-out food to his partner. There were flies all over the place. They were pulling together some food for themselves. And I drove away.... remembering what daddy once said,... how different things are today.

And that makes me very sad. This great wonderful country where opportunities are supposed to exist for each of us... today, not so much. And faith is becoming lost. And many of us are frightened. And our teenagers didn't see the high times we did in the 80s and 90s... and they don't remember times better than these.

And my son, who is getting his associates degree in a month and a half... is pondering "why bother" to get the Bachelor's degree.... doesn't seem to make much a difference any more or have value in the marketplace. Sigh.

And yet... we still have so many choices and resources around us. We just need to put things in perspective.

I dunno... I'm sitting here blogging... sad, but still hopeful. And I guess that's all for today.

I have a few good friends with whom I am close enough to really be honest -- I'm talking sans ego and at depths beyond dangling conversations. You know who you are if you're reading this -- I love you. To me, all of life is a mystery for us to unravel, finding an individual path towards mastery and wisdom. And we hit road bumps along the way and get "stuck" and find ourselves angry or hurt. It is so good when find connection with another or others who help us on the path.

There is great pain in "seeking". I know why "ignorance is bliss" because if you never ponder or explore, you can't get hurt. But in choosing to NOT engage... is to be numb. You might as well be a rock, or any inanimate thing. To venture and confront truth, hard as it seems sometimes, is to risk and to sometimes hurt. And I almost always choose the harder way -- the right way -- and I often get a hammer to my hand in so doing... because nothing good or worthwhile comes easy (which is why we place value on "earned" things). And when seeking-- when your efforts involve others-- they may not be coming from the same mindedness as you or receive your message with your same passion. Still, we must try to resolve differences, transcend situations, and live authentically and in communion with those around us. We must bend and compromise and we must find congruence in doing so, that we do not lose who we are within it. And we must have hope that others will pay us the same respect towards peace.

To me, it is ever so important to be authentic, even when it goes against tradition or expectations -- but this can be achieved with love and understanding when it differs with affected people. Oh, you know all the quotes, "To thine own self be true." Such grand benefits in leading a life that is genuine... but in doing so means also to be responsible and kind and thoughtful to others... to choose the high road and to be good. I think sometimes people are so busy leading their own life and truths that they forget that they are an important influence on those around them. I realize I'm being vague here, and I'm often accused of speaking in platitudes, but there is a message here I want to blog about...

I've learned in my own life, that "feelings" are worthy of attention. When we are angry or sad or even happy and light... it is extremely important to explore the root of such emotion. For within it is truth and guidance to bring us closer to leading the life we were intended to live out. Negativity is NORMAL... And underneath negativity you find hurt and underneath that, you find it's core... love. This is true. This is so true and only those who self-search will find that love is from where everything comes.

Perhaps there would be chaos in the world if couples and families were honest with one another and really laid it on the line what is felt, or what one wants or needs... to express disappointment and pain. For doing so is to TRUST others that they will care enough to respond or negotiate, or find mutual truth that is not only livable, but ideal. If we do not hurt or feel, than we are that rock or inanimate thing that is simply "indifferent". If we care, then we feel and we hurt. I feel an obligation to myself and those I love to share what's inside and communicate... and there is always hope and faith in resolve and union.

Who will stand with their feet in the fire to never give up on someone or something? Even if someone has to walk away because there is no meeting of the minds (business, personal relationships, whatever)... can't we still find respect and love and forgiveness in letting them go -- isn't that still loving them? I believe we can! Good always wins.

The truth is the only place in which to live.

I read an interesting quote in a psychology article that speaks to the primal urge for living out truth...

The average two-year-old is a great beacon for emotional health, displaying a full range of emotions and moving beyond them once they are expressed.

How wonderful that our human nature is to be honest and OK with who we are to express it.

Express Yourself!

I will always speak out on things important and you will never wonder what my position is on any issue. If something isn't working in a relationship, I will not sleep or eat until I make my best effort to soul-search and either find my blame or express my truth to another. I do not care if I appear humble (and thereby weak?)... it is my core value to find truth... to come from light without subterfuge or manipulation.

We are all children with raw emotion and hurts and anger. And that's quite all right. The few people in our world who know us... truly know us.... serve as reminder that underneath it all is something beautiful and good, just as we see in them.


Madonna - Express Yourself [Video]
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This was the song we danced to for the first Father-Daughter dance at my wedding in 1986.

Maybe I've mentioned this next sentence in my blog in the past... I say it again not to be repetitive, but because it is something I upon which I often reflect:

"Be kind," Daddy told me, repeating it many times through my life, "Be kind because you don't know what people go home to."

I'm not saying you have to go to church, or become a volunteer (although that is very very good), just be kind. Remember we don't always know it all. Some things we will never know about the lives close to us and even those peripherally with whom we come into contact.

If you are suffering privately.... I send you love and peaceful wishes.





Hands
Jewel

If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be that we're all o.k.
And not to worry
cause worry is wasteful
And unless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I wont be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn't steel your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but i knew it wasn't ever after

We'll fight, not out of spite
for someone must stand up for what's right
cause where there's a man who has no voice
there our's shall go singing

My hands are small, i know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters

I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

My hands are small, i know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
God's hands
God's hands

John Rendall and Anthony Bourke are just two dudes who bought a lion named Christian from a department store in 1969 (because, hey, you can do that). They eventually decided it was only appropriate to reintroduce him into the wild, which was probably really difficult for them to do as they'd (only naturally) become quite fond of their big kitty.

One year later, upon searching him out in Africa while filming a documentary for their story, called The Lion at World's End (or Christian The Lion), they actually did come across Christian. They didn't expect that he would remember them. Big surprise: he did, and their now-infamous, lion hugging reunion was captured on film.

Since animal videos make the YouTube go 'round, the clip took on new life online and became heavily shared and a viral phenomenon. On its own, the video is sweet, but with the assistance of one Ms. Whitney Houston and her power ballad "I Will Always Love You," the Christian the Lion video will instantly turn on the waterworks. And that's the power of the Internet right there.

Unbeknownst to her at the time, Lauren Bernat became a viral sensation after her boyfriend posted a video of her, titled 'Why every guy should buy their girlfriend a WiiFit,' that showed Bernat playing a Wii Fit hula hoop game in her underwear. At first, she was furious at her man and forced him take down the video, but it was too late as (unsurprisingly) her gyrating hips took off like wildfire through the web. Millions of views later, she has since embraced her fame. Bernat got her revenge on her boyfriend on the Tyra show, and has even surfaced as a spokesgal for another Wii exercise game. - KR

Hallelujah LYRICS

Does Satan wear a suit and tie
Or does he work at the Dairy Queen?
Does he listen to rock and roll?
Does he feed the mean?
Singing Hallelujah

What about Jesus
Didn't he do it too?
Hang out with the prostitutes
And have a drink or two?
Power of example
My mama said it and I heard
She says one ounce of action
Beats a ton of words.

Singing Hallelujah.
Mama said there would be angels
Mama said there would be sun

Is the devil in Elvis to go where no white man went?
Or hiding in Hugh Hefner's body or maybe even Larry Flynt?
Say, hows about the President shielding all them stones?
Man if I could find a shield like that I'd walk 'round naked
in my glass home.

Sippin' Hallelujah
My angel's gone to Vegas
Sippin' Hallelujah
She's holding aces in her hand. Hallelujah
Oh, she sings rock of ages. Hallelujah
On the table at the Sands. Hallelujah

Does Satan wear a suit and tie?
Or does he work at the Dairy Queen?
Does he listen to rock and roll?
Does he feed the mean
streak in all of us?
All us saints here on earth
Hypnotized and over-advertised
'til we're numb at birth?

Singing Hallelujah
my angel's flippin' through pages
Singing Hallelujah
She just don't understand. Hallelujah
That the devil's hot on her trail. Hallelujah
On the road to broken promised land.

On the TV and the radio. Hallelujah
on the murdered public waves
Good and evil look the same to you

Jesus lives and saves. Hallelujah

Guys... I'm borrowing this space for youtube.com videos I'm I'm showing on the big screen in my classroom tonight on Student Learning and integration of New Technologies.. Heck, maybe you'll enjoy it, too. Really cool

So I was driving to the college this morning to teach my 8:30 A.M. class. An old fave song came on the radio and I was coffee'ed up and happy... singing even and playing the steering wheel drums, remembering what a great MTV video this song was--mermaids and romance... gotta love it. Next thing I know I'm in Tarpon Springs... Uh, not where the college is--the place where I've been teaching for 3 years. Gawd. Am I the only one with her head in the clouds? I was late.




Madonna Cherish Lyrics:

So tired of broken hearts and losing at this game
Before I start this dance
I take a chance in telling you
I want more than just romance
You are my destiny, I can't let
go baby can't you see
Cupid please take your aim at me

[Chorus:]

Cherish the thought
Of always having you here by my side (oh baby I)
Cherish the joy
You keep bringing it into my life
(I'm always singing it)
Cherish your strength
You got the power to make me feel good (and baby I)
Perish the thought
Of ever leaving, I never would

I was never satisfied with casual encounters
I can't hide my need for two hearts
that bleed with burning love
That's the way it's got to be
Romeo and Juliet, they never felt this way I bet
So don't underestimate my point of view

[chorus]

Who? You! Can't get away I won't let you
Who? You! I could never forget to
Cherish is the word I use to remind me of your love

Romeo and Juliet, they never felt this way I bet
So don't underestimate my point of view

Who? You! Can't get away I won't let you
Who? You! I could never forget to
Cherish is the word I use to remind me of your love

[chorus]

Give me faith give me joy, my boy
I will always cherish you