This is nice. My house is clean (that's because the culprit for mess didn't come home from college this weekend - yes, I'm sad.... I miss my Kelly) and there is something so lovely, too, about the quiet and claiming this space all mine this weekend.

The Season of Fall has come to the northern states I keep hearing from friends who live there. In Florida, the subtle sign that it is September is that you don't drip sweat in the first minute you leave the indoors, it only takes now 7 minutes now to melt, so I know Autumn is near for us. So I celebrate this loveliness... gots me a cinnamon broom at the grocery store last night... I put it in the foyer and its scent brings me closer to times of past I now long for.... Fall. Football games on TV entirely too loud, a room full of happy people eating some great snack recipe I made and kids with friends in a house of happy. I am so glad I lived the American Dream and had my family for so many years... and I'm very happy where my life brings me now... different, quieter, alone... still good.

The semester ended yesterday of the class I was teaching. This weekend I shall grade finals. I have a large project for my marketing job, too. And I love the quiet work to do.

I haven't updated you guys.... I am Dr. Lewis now... My dissertation passed oral defense a couple of weeks ago and I just got my official transcript of completion of the PhD in Psychology. Will frame my diploma and hang it in my room. I chuckle.... big deal, heh. And nothing changes, I still am me and confetti didn't drop out of the sky to celebrate this feat I accomplished. Truth is, I'm a little frightened to NOT have the burden of studies (as my excuse to avoid social events, or why I didn't get some other task done because I was busy with school). God forbid I should rest a bit... So within one day of graduation, I began writing a journal article for the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, taking my 175 page dissertation and summarizing it in 39 pages, which, if accepted by the journal will likely shorten to about 20 pages.

I submitted my research (about which I am very proud). The Journal assigned me an editor (peer reviewer) to evaluate my research and deem it worthy of publishing. I was sent her name and I looked up her credentials. She is a Purdue grad, a professor, an author of numerous articles about my topic of research (love and commitment, passion, and intimacy) and a true scholar. I'm slightly intimidated as a new scholar and fear her editing comments will rip to shreds my life's work. But I think BAH! if that happens.... I will still be me. It's just that I long to do great things while I'm here on planet earth, and I think I can do that through research and writing, given my penchant and wishes for a world that has so much human potential.

I got me an HTC HD2 windows-platform phone. It is sexy and it makes my heart beat fast. I hate the Iphone, but I do like its form factor... the HTC is even cooler (kinda like a slate). I'm trying to learn SWYPE.... very cool method of texting. I gave up my Droid phone.... loved the apps very much, but for working my jobs, I prefer to have some of the Windows Business stuff to automate stuff. I'm a techno 'ho... I try to commit to a new phone for two years, but I never seem to go longer than a year without getting a bug up my ass for better technology. I might configure the phone for dual op systems to add Android (HD2 is the only phone capable of running two systems).

As I write this so happy and sweet, I knew it wouldn't be long lasting. The effing neighbor just fired up his LEAF BLOWER and I'm fricken annoyed. So now I'm not so peaceful and easy feelin'

So what's new with you?

Hi all. How is your New Year going? Very very bizzy these days.

Business Stuff...

I am teaching Human Growth & Development this semester. It's a new course and my first time teaching it, so I've been busy setting up lessons plans and getting lectures prepared. Grading my first submissions from the 35 students I have. This is, by far, the most exceptional group of students I've had. They are all experienced learners in the nursing program, so they "get it". It's a pleasure to teach students who are engaged and want to be there.

I had left Rasmussen College a few semesters ago (needed the break), but I have returned to teaching with a new vigor. We have a new campus that is just a few miles from my house and the move took place this weekend. Rasmussen is going through growing pains and some of the changes are really good. I'm excited and I know for sure I belong in academia, even if I only take on a few classes a year as extra work.

This is my fifth year working full time as a director of marketing for a health care company and I'm putting together a 2011 marketing plan and presentation for an annual meeting. Working on a revamp of the corporate website. The CEO for whom I work and I partnered to start a separate small marketing company a few months ago. It made sense to do so... the business is there and we already have an account. I'm creating a website and mail campaign.

The Kids....

Kevin is in Canada until the Spring and doing well, he says. He has two jobs and is renting a room with friends. We haven't resolved the "international calling" bullcrap of cell phones and I need to fast find a plan that won't suck the bank account dry. Kev is looking at a College called Acadia in Canada and wants to become a teacher and likely a Canadian resident.

Kelly is wrapping up her senior year at the high school and is dually enrolled at the community college. She's applied to the pre-Dental program at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, FL... that's my alma mater. I hope she gets in and we'd like to find out how to financial swing it that she can live on campus and come home on weekends.

Soon I will really be an empty nester. I'm OK with this... I'm already seeing the changes with Kev gone. For example, there is no need to buy a lot of groceries. Kelly's schedule and mine cross a great deal and it feels like sometimes this house is just a drop in center for change of clothes and sleep.


Health...

About a week ago I woke up and couldn't see two feet in front me. Everything was blurry. I was scared that the Glaucoma had kicked in (I'm borderline and I've put off eye surgery a year... been warned if I don't have the surgery soon, I could go blind). But thankfully after a few hours I could see, but not at all up close like I used to be able to see. I did some googling to find out that sometimes in this age group, people can lose their up-close vision just like that (snap). I had an eye exam yesterday and I went from 1.25 to 2.00 in prescription strength, which is pretty dramatic. I ordered progressive lens glasses and sunglasses. I'm going to try and schedule eye surgery within the next month if I can pull the money together.

My uterine fibroids continue to be problematic. I have spotting and constant colicky cramping. I have been ignoring the options available for treatments after reading about them (surgery) and want to live with the condition as long as it is tolerable. I do, however, want to get a gynecologist. My primary care doc has handled all my female exams thus far. Well, I'm getting older... need to take care now I'm sure with any hormonal changes.

Last June I got 22 pounds off and I have maintained the weight loss. I want to get off another 10 or so pounds, but it is much slower to come off now. With the weight loss came hair loss... quite a bit... and I learned that I was depleted of iron, folic acid and need more biotin and B vitamins, so I'm on a program now.

Geeze.

Home Improvements

I have a long list of things to do around here. I'm making a priority list to knock out projects one by one as I can budget for them. I would like to get some window shutters in my bedroom (actually the whole house, but let's start with one room) and shutters are so outrageously priced. I have Lowes coming out to measure. The windows in this house are so cheesy and the cold pours through. My room faces the road -- noisy... too much light. My curtains fell down because the wall is concrete and the nail doesn't stay in. Very annoyed. I want a solution that is pretty, too. I work in my bedroom all the time. It's my space. I want it right.

The lawn! Need sod. As soon as these cold snaps are gone, I'm laying some grass down.

Skewl & Research & Speaking Engagement

My research is plugging along. About 600 people have taken The Love Survey (www.thelovesurvey.org) and I'm keeping the survey open to continue to recruit volunteer participants. Meanwhile, I'm working the SPSS software to crunch the numbers and learn how to statistically analyze the data.

I have been asked to be a feature presenter at a special event with the Museam of Science in Tampa. The event is in February called "Cupid the Scientist" LINK HERE

I didn't mention this earlier, but in November I had emailed the Dr. Phil Show about my research and a producer from the show called me to see about availability for a show they were planning on couples & intimacy/affairs. They asked for my bio and such, but it wasn't really a fit for their needs. I didn't get too excited, other than to realize the potential of The Love Survey (once completed) to attract media attention and hopefully give me a shot at publishing and exposure. I really want to do something good with this research. Will keep you posted on all that.

Mindless Fun Stuff

Are you watching the new season of The Bachelor? Monday nights 8 PM. I love it. Totally shallow and fun.

I'm hooked on Bravo Channel's, Housewives of Beverly Hills... more shallow fun.

I love my new Kindle. I'm reading Seven: The Deadly Sins and The Beattitudes by Jeff Cook.

I also started listening to audiobooks on my cell phone. The Android Apps are fun!


That's the news for now!

My research proposal passed ethics committee review and scrutiny by my dissertation committee. I am now authorized to begin data collection. Will you help me?

Are you in a romantic relationship? Research Study Volunteers Needed.

I am a doctoral student working on my Ph.D dissertation in the General Psychology Program at Capella University. I am currently collecting data for a study that involves examining the factors of romantic relationships (intimacy, passion, and commitment) and how they relate to satisfaction. Please consider participating in this dissertation study - Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment as Predictors of Couple's Relationship Satisfaction. It is my hope that this research will assist in furthering psychological research about love theories.

Eligibility requirements are:

1) At least 18 years old of age.
2) Live in the United States
3) English-Speaking
4) Currently in a heterosexual, steady couple’s relationship
5) Internet Access

The survey takes about 10-20 minutes to complete and is unpaid. Participation is completely confidential. There are no foreseeable risks associated with this study and you may withdraw from the survey at any point.

For more information or to participate in this research opportunity, please click on the following link: www.thelovesurvey.org or go straight to the survey by clicking SURVEY

Thank you!

Doreen Lewis

Today is the 9th anniversary of my beloved father's passing from pancreatic cancer. He was 59 years old and he was my hero... a true gentleman, smart and wise and witty. Oh, I miss him! Of course he passed the day after Father's Day... so appropriate.

We are going on a mini vacation for the 4th of July weekend. I got three suites at a beach motel for us (nothing fancy) and the kids are bringing some friends. Our chihuahuas are coming (I got them doggy Hawaiian shirts to wear to get in the right spirit of things). It's been many years since we've done anything fun and we all need it.

I busted a gut this week OMG, when the hell is menopause anyway? I'm so sick of this. There's the week before the ovarian explosion that is riddled with attitudinal issues and depression, followed by a week of abdominal unwellness... well, that's 1/2 the month or roughly, half the female's adult life. Men have no idea. Going to lay down shortly in a fetal position until the 3 ibuproferen kick in.

There is a wondrous thunderstorm here today and that pleases me. I am going to read, order a veggie pizza... kids are working, I am alone and it is peaceful....

Still.... it sucks that opportunities are limited. I understand the mentality that any employer could pay two to four 20 or 30-something year olds a quarter what a PhD would want--because not every daily task in a job is rocket science. As a consequence, the higher ed individual usually works jobs under their level for the best monies they can get, not always what they want. It wasn't supposed to be this way, but it is.

I think of my plight. And I'm 44 now. I should be finding ways to tuck money away before I'm really old. And I want to apply myself. To be MORE. I should find the best path for applying my skills. I want to make a difference.

So I gots me some bigass plans. To make a difference I need to define my own way, I think. Nobody is going to hand over big checks. I've got to blaze through my own path...

First, I want to publish my dissertation research results (on the psychology of romantic love) in an academic journal. I will then rewrite the findings in some sort of pop psychology book for individuals interested in what makes relationships work in the areas of passion, intimacy, and commitment. I would love to speak on the work to audiences of interest.

As an aside and for fun, I have and itch and a twitch to finish two novels I started a couple of years ago, one of which was entered into a writing contest and won first place, judged by an editor of Pocket Books, a subsidiary of Simon & Schuster... the big dog in publishing. I have several books in mind in the romance genre and womens contemporary fiction in which I want to weave plots with compelling characters having delightfully flawed personalities.... spin tales with psychological implications.

Heh. I can almost hear my mother's logical advice as I write this, "Get your head out of the clouds, Doreen, get a job that gives you a pension and enjoy your evenings. Stop inventing, dreaming... No more dreams!" And yet at the same time, she says to me, "You're the free spirit I could never be...." God we are influenced by what we hear...

I find the years creeping up on me and my focus being pulled away in so many different directions, mostly which involve the service to other people, from my kids to my home to my job and those dear friends who need me. In the recent year, I have traveled a path that has been a detour from my usual grindstone ways. I guess I have been influenced "post-divorce" that I need to find myself and get out there and engage people and new experiences because.... I think most of you know, I'd rather be in fuzzy slippers, alone, being a writing hack/geek than "out there". It's no lie I have had to be somewhat seduced or coerced to get out of my geekity and "too much college" mentality and make some new friends and go out. These have been rich experiences... yet I am who I am... so much quieter in my natural spirit.

One thing I've come to understand about my life is that I have a worldview that is so much better in its imagination than reality. I don't really get off on the adventures of real life stuff. Do I look like a people person? My happy place exists in recesses of my mind... yet... for the rare and beautifully patient friends who know me well.... they humor me. They know how exhausting I can be once given a "platform" to speak to them about what whirls in my head.... too much academia, too much psychobabble, too many life questions and "what if" this-or-that ponderings. You know who you are... you are reading this and still loving me despite my pain-in-the-assedness.

I think I have achieved too much education that on some level, I have alienated myself from some of the easy, shallower (I don't mean less valuable) experiences. By this I mean, I find it to be "pressure" when someone says to me, "Lighten up, just have fun." Ummmmm, what does THAT mean? Put a lampshade on my head? Drive around topless, singing Lady Gaga with the windows down? I think to some degree, that this is what people mean to say or expect. I can come off as being extraverted, even wild... though it's an exterior persona...it's authentic, but only to degree.

What if who I am is just a sad soul with the gift of knowing joy in the minutia of life that you can occasionally join with me for intimate and soulful connection? Is that such a bad thing? Who knows.

I am alone... both by choice and by virtue of the universe which surrounds my reality. I am not unhappy... I am a seeker and open and allowing my reality to evolve.

With great intentions.... I forge forward.

I blogged a while ago about my upcoming presentation in Kansas as a new scholar at the International Association of Relationship Research (IARR). I just completed my "poster" for a poster presentation. It is 4 feet by 4 feet and I'm having it produced in color on crease-proof fabric, which will later be a momentum I can hang in my office.

My research will be conducted online... I'm creating a website and it's under construction now.

Take a peek (you can view my poster there, too)....

THUMBNAIL View - Click to go to Website



www.thelovesurvey.org

Following the new scholar event is a couple of days of intensive seminars by some of the great leaders in this specialized field of psychology.

What an exciting festival of geekdom for me! I truly love this stuff.

Oh, and I've never been to Kansas.

Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah!!!!